


Satisfied

by commandercrouton



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben is a Mixture, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton Meets Star Wars, Hamilton References, Happy Ending, Idk what happened, May you always be satisfied Reylo, Minor Rey x Poe, My First Smut, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Poe is inspired by Elizabeth Schuyler, Rey is Hamilton, Satisfied Inspire Fic, Smut, ben is an idiot, idk what im doing, listen guys, no Snoke, so is Rey, this was supposed to be a one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:00:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandercrouton/pseuds/commandercrouton
Summary: “So on that note,” he cleared his throat, “a toast to the bride and groom, from your best friend, who will always stay by your side. May your union be blessed and filled with all the love you two deserve, and may you always be satisfied. Cheers!” Ben raised his glass and tipped it to his mouth, letting a small amount of champagne fill his mouth before swallowing.The alcohol was hitting him. His thoughts swirled in his brain as he watched guest after guest walk up to Poe and Rey and offer their congratulations. He knew the pain he was experiencing now would be nothing compared to the day he would see Rey walk down an aisle in a wedding dress meeting another man at the altar. He did this to himself. If only he could just rewind to that night, and change it. Now he had to regret that night for the rest of his days.





	1. Satisfied

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Welcome to my next Reylo fic, heavily inspired by the song Satisfied from the Hamilton Soundtrack, with lots of other Hamilton references. This was supposed to be at most a two-shot, but as of right now, I'm thinking it'll be, like eight chapters? I hope you guys enjoy it. This angsty, but it's worth it. Many thanks to my amazing beta and friend, Lindsay, for enabling me to write this and putting up with my word vomit. Here's to you babe! Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)

Ben leaned on the outside of the building with the sun shining in his eyes, sipping from his flask and wishing he was anywhere else but here. The alcohol burned his throat as it went down, and he fought through the pain as he continued to chug the contents. 

 

He clenched his jaw as he thought back to the moments that brought him here. It was his fault really. They were his choices. He should have done something,  _ anything,  _ instead of pushing her away into another guy’s arms. It wasn’t even a random guy that he could push out of his mind. 

 

It was Poe Dameron.

 

His oldest friend.

 

And it was all his fucking fault.

 

He heard the door open and he opened an eye to see who was disturbing his moment of self-loathing.

 

“Ben?”

 

He instantly straightened and hid the flask in his tux pocket. 

 

“What are you doing out here?” Rey stepped outside, a vision in a white lace cocktail dress, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“Just needed some air,” he lied.

 

“You know you’re a terrible liar,” she stated calmly as she walked over to him. Her black heels clicked along the concrete sidewalk as she made her way over. 

 

“I’m not, actually. You’re the only one who seems to know when I am, though,” he answered honestly as he watched her lean against the wall next to him.

 

He ignored the pleased look displayed on her pretty face. Ben did his best not to look at her more than was necessary since that diamond made an appearance on her left ring finger. It was a useless tactic. 

 

Ben knew her face like a map to a destination he studied for days on end. Every dip and curve and line was just another road he could follow blindly in the dark, knowing he would get to his destination unscathed. 

 

Today her foundation did its best to cover the freckles that dusted her cheeks and he hated it. Ben knew Poe didn’t like her freckles, and Ben hated Poe for that. Her hazel eyes were ringed in tasteful eyeliner and nude eyeshadow. The only color on her face was her blood red lips that he vividly remembered kissing the first night they met before everything went to shit.

 

If he wasn’t such a fucking coward, things might have been different.

 

But he was, which was why he was at the engagement party of a woman he was in love with. To his best friend of all people. 

 

He couldn’t even tell Poe no when he asked him to be the best man. He wanted to. He was very close to it. But his eyes had trailed over to Rey, and she’d stared at him with the smirk he loved so much, and his will crumbled like sugar dissolving in the hot tea she loved to drink. This was hell. This was torture. A coward like him deserved every bit of it.

 

“Ben? Did you hear me?” 

 

Rey’s voice brought him out of his mind. He faintly realized her hand was clutching his. Her thumb stroked circles on the back of his hand, and he couldn’t help but relish in the feeling of her skin on his. They always had little moments like these. A touch here. A lingered glance there. Eyes meeting across the room as if they shared some joke only they were a part of. Moments full of  _ what-ifs _ and  _ maybes  _ throughout the whirlwind relationship he found himself trapped in. Eventually, though, reality would hit in the form of Poe hugging her, kissing her, or just holding her hand and dragging her away. 

 

He selfishly let her continue until he felt the cold platinum band press into his skin, and he flinched his hand away from her.

 

“No, sorry. My mind was somewhere else,” he muttered.

 

“It’s almost time for the best man’s speech. Poe was looking for you,” she answered, her voice guarded. 

 

“I can’t believe his parents sprung for this huge engagement party. I would never want something like this,” he muttered.

 

“Like Leia would allow anything but,” she snorted, standing still, brushing off imaginary dirt from her dress.

 

“I’d elope. I wouldn’t need something huge. Just me and my girl, that’s all I could ever want.”

 

“Anyone in mind?” Rey teased, her eyes meeting his.

 

Ben swallowed the words that wanted to tumble out.  _ Yes, you. It always was you. I’d take you from this if I could, but I’m not brave like you, and you deserve a better man than me. I remember that night with you. I will regret what I did for the rest of my life.  _

 

Instead, he looked away, fumbling with the buttons on his jacket.

 

Rey stepped closer to him and his senses were invaded by her floral perfume. “Your bowtie is crooked,” she explained. 

 

He felt her nimble fingers near his throat as they adjusted the bow choking his neck. Was it his imagination or did her fingers graze his skin softly? Was it wishful thinking that made him think he heard her inhale softly as she trailed her fingers slowly down his chest before pulling away?

 

“There, it’s perfect,” she murmured. She stepped back and turned away from him, giving him a view of the back of her dress. That damn dress hugged her curves in all the right places. The subtle dip in the front allowed the curves of her breasts to be shown modestly around Poe’s family. It was because of those breasts he didn’t realize the dress was backless.

 

His hand unconsciously reached out, desperately wanting to trail the curve of her spine. He faintly wondered if she remembered him murmuring in her ear how much he loved the curve of her back as he held her close the fateful night they met. A night full of flushed skin-to-skin contact, the ghost of her forever imprinted on his body. That one night where everything was perfect and as it should be. That one night before the next morning happened and everything changed between them.

 

“Anything on my back?”

 

“No,” he cleared his throat, “you look beautiful. Did I tell you that?” he asked quietly, staring at the curve of her neck hidden by her loose hair. 

 

She smiled shyly over her shoulder, nodding slightly before leading the way back into the small reception hall Mr. and Mrs. Dameron rented for their son.

 

“There you two are! I was getting worried. Ben, time to give your speech!” Mrs. Dameron rushed over pulling Rey away from him. “Rey, go find Poe. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how rude it is to leave your fiance unattended at his engagement party.” 

 

Ben saw Rey plaster on her fake smile he hated so much as she made her way through the guests. She confided in him the night Poe proposed that she always felt she wasn’t good enough for Poe or his parents. Poe’s mom never let a chance where she could critique Rey slip. Ben did his best to ease her fears, but the only thing that mattered to her was when he told her his mom  _ adored  _ her. The night ended when she quietly wished Leia would be her future mother-in-law. 

 

Ben pretended he didn’t hear.

 

“Ben! Where did you go sneaking off to?” Poe clapped him on the shoulder, using his other hand to give Ben a flute of champagne for his toast. He continued to speak, not even waiting for Ben’s answer, “I can’t believe this is my engagement party. Who would have thought we would end up here?”

 

“I certainly did not expect this to happen, I can tell you for sure,” Ben answered truthfully.

 

“I still can’t believe she said yes,” Poe shook his head in wonder.

 

“Me either,” Ben muttered. “Let’s get this stupid speech over with.”

 

Poe laughed good-naturedly as he watched Ben shake out his nerves and slip into the charming persona his Solo bloodline gifted him.

 

“If I may have your attention,” Ben cleared his throat, using the college ring he wore to tap on the flute, “I am told that as best man I have to give a speech. Although to be fair, I thought that was only for the wedding and not the engagement party. Leave it to Poe to take every chance he can to hear how wonderful he is,” he joked. Laughter filled the air, and he waited an appropriate amount of time before continuing. 

 

Ben did his best to ignore the way his heart clenched when he saw Rey walk to Poe with that terrible fake smile of hers and slip her hand into his. Did Poe even realize how uncomfortable Rey was in this situation? Did he recognize the way Rey scrunched up her nose when Poe’s mother made backhanded comments at Rey’s expense? Did Poe not realize everything Rey did to satisfy Poe’s needs, but never her own?

 

No. Now was not the time to go there.

 

“For those that don’t know me, my name is Ben Solo. I’m Poe’s best friend, though I don’t know why. To be honest I think the only reason he picked me as his best man was because I was the one who introduced these two together.” He smiled at Poe as he said those words, trying his best to ignore the weight of Rey’s stare on his, but as always, he failed when it came to her.

 

Ben glanced at Rey, meeting her stare as he continued his speech. “Yes, Rey and I knew each other before. Not many people know how Rey and I met,” he continued, wanting to prod her into remembering their night together one last time, taking note of the blush that spread across her cheeks, “but this isn’t about Rey and I. This is about Poe and Rey.”

 

Ben cleared his throat, doing his best to regain his footing in front of these people and not get lost in the memory he’d tucked away.

 

“Six months ago I ran into Poe while I was out grabbing coffee for a friend, and that was when we caught sight of Rey entering the shop. Anyone could tell the moment she walked in, our Poe here was smitten. I don’t think I ever saw him look so helpless. Lucky for him I’d met her the night before and did him the favor of introducing these two as we all waited in line. I had to listen to Poe’s sad attempts at flirting, but he must have done something right because that beautiful woman on his arm right now said yes. Poe, I have no clue how you got someone as wonderful as Rey. You are my best friend, and you are so lucky to have her. I wish you the best,” Ben told Poe truthfully. He was sure he could feel his heart break uttering those words, but now was his time to tell Rey in the only way he could how he felt about her. 

 

“My little Rey of sunshine, you deserve the best in the world. I knew from the moment I met you, you were going to stay in my life one way or another. I just didn’t realize it would be like this. There is no better man than your fiance. He will stand by your side through thick and thin and love you as much as he can. I just need to let you know I will always remember the night we met. Always,” he whispered. 

 

Rey’s eyes widened slightly, and she hastily looked between Poe and Ben, wondering if her fiance caught on to what Ben was saying. 

 

“So on that note,” he cleared his throat, “a toast to the bride and groom, from your best friend, who will always stay by your side. May your union be blessed and filled with all the love you two deserve, and may you always be satisfied. Cheers!” Ben raised his glass and tipped it to his mouth, letting a small amount of champagne fill his mouth before swallowing. 

 

The alcohol was hitting him. His thoughts swirled in his brain as he watched guest after guest walk up to Poe and Rey and offer their congratulations. He knew the pain he was experiencing now would be nothing compared to the day he would see Rey walk down an aisle in a wedding dress meeting another man at the altar. He did this to himself. If only he could just rewind to that night, and change it. Now he had to regret that night for the rest of his days.


	2. Rewind - Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi,” he choked out.
> 
> “I’m Rey,” she introduced herself, sticking her hand out.
> 
> He forgot his name. What was a name? What’s in a name? 
> 
> Shit. It was never a good sign if he referenced Shakespeare.
> 
> “You know, you remind me of myself,” she continued, hand still extended. 
> 
> Ben tilted his head, a sign she took to continue.
> 
> “You’re never satisfied,” she said matter of factly. “You look like the kind of person who will never be satisfied. Always reaching for something, and never happy with what is in front of you. Believe me, I know the feeling. I’m never satisfied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I would not be here if not for my main babe, Lindsay. The best beta and reylo friend a girl could ask for. Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)
> 
> I also want to thank my main sprinter babes for hyping me up and telling me this story isn't trash. Love you guys!

**_Six Months Ago…_ **

 

Ben remembered everything about that night. He remembered the bar they met at, where he was sitting when she slid into the seat directly next to him, despite the other open barstools. He recalled the way Rey pushed away all the other guys interested in buying her a drink. Instead, she focused her attention on him, trying to draw him into a conversation, and he just couldn’t understand why this beautiful woman was flirting with _him_. She was out of his league. She could have any guy in this bar. Why would she want him?

 

“Hi,” she turned toward him, giving him a dazzling smile.

 

Ben turned to the voice and time seemed to stop as he took her face in. Her hair was up in a weird style, three buns, but strands of her chestnut hair came loose to frame her face drawing attention to her intelligent hazel eyes. Her pink lips were upturned in a mischievous smile. The lines of her jaw were sharp, rising up to the apples of her cheeks. He was surprised to see her skin tanned and dusted with freckles, as though she was kissed by the sun in the middle of winter.

 

The old sweatshirt she was wearing shouldn’t have looked good on her, but it did. It swallowed her small frame, and he loved how endearing that made her look. Her jeans were covered in grease stains. Ben was sure the holes in her jeans were from overuse, and not from purchasing them like that.

 

He faintly realized he had yet to respond.

 

“Hi,” he choked out.

 

“I’m Rey,” she introduced herself, sticking her hand out.

 

He forgot his name. What was a name? What’s _in_ a name?

 

Shit. It was never a good sign if he referenced Shakespeare.

 

“You know, you remind me of myself,” she continued, hand still extended.

 

Ben tilted his head, a sign she took to continue.

 

“You’re never satisfied,” she said matter of factly. “You look like the kind of person who will never be satisfied. Always reaching for something, and never happy with what is in front of you. Believe me, I know the feeling. I’m never satisfied.”

 

“You aren’t from around here.  Where are you from?” he asked instead, eyes furrowing at the very un-American accent she had.

 

She drew her hand back, eyes narrowing slightly at him. “It doesn’t matter where I’m from. I’m here now, aren’t I? Besides, where I’m from doesn’t define what I’ll do.”

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for that come off as rude. Sometimes I open my mouth without thinking,” Ben reprimanded himself. He clenched the beer bottle in his hands in nervousness.

 

To his immense relief, she laughed. The sound seemed to bring an instant lightness to the room they were sitting in.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Ben asked, deciding to take the plunge.

 

“That would be nice,” she smiled at him, leaning her body towards his.

 

Ben flagged the bartender down, letting Rey place her order. In just a moment, a cold beer was placed in front of her, and she took the first gulp greedily.

 

“So Rey, got a last name?”

 

“Niima.”

 

“Haven’t heard a name like that. Is it a family name?”

 

Ben noticed Rey fidgeting with her shirt, glancing away nervously. It was just a brief moment; in a flash, her face smoothed back into the confident woman who sat down next to him.

 

“That’s a lot of questions from a stranger who has yet to introduce himself.”

 

Ben noticed the way she avoided his question but realized it wasn’t his place to pry. He knew what it was like to have issues with family.

 

“Ben Solo.”

 

“Solo? Like Han Solo? The famous race car driver?” she asked, eyes widening in disbelief.

 

He briefly wondered if this would hurt his chances with taking her home tonight or increase them.

 

“Yeah, he’s my dad,” he explained sheepishly.

 

“He’s like, my hero. Seriously. He is the only reason I chose mechanical engineering as my major.”

 

“I’m sure he would love to hear you say that,” he answered dryly.

 

“I’m sure I’d much rather talk to you instead of your dad at the moment. Parent talk just doesn’t do it for me.”

 

Ben choked on his beer, staring at her. Did she mean it the way he _thought_ she did?

 

She leaned her head on her hand, elbow pressed against the bar counter, smiling wickedly.

 

Okay, maybe she did.

 

“So Ben, what do you do?” Rey asked, changing the topic of conversation to safer ground.

 

He quickly explained he worked in a very boring marketing job which segued into a conversation with both of them explaining what their childhood dream jobs were. Each sentence that passed between them flowed easily into another conversation, both feeling more at ease as time passed and the alcohol flowed.

 

It felt like freedom. Their conversation was electric. He briefly wondered if this is what it was like to connect with someone, to talk with someone who was at his level, both discussing topics where they matched wit for wit. For everything he disagreed with her on, she met with counterpoints and vice versa. Their talk couldn’t have lasted more than an hour before the touches she gave him seemed to linger. Every touch set his skin aflame and set his heart leaping into his throat. All he could think about was taking her far from this place, to a place she deserved to be in, not this shithole.

 

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Ben asked tepidly.

 

She responded with a vivid smile on her face.

 

Ben stood up from the bar, holding out his hand to hers, wiggling his fingers teasingly. She laughed, and grabbed his outstretched hand, standing next to him.

 

He was surprised to see she was taller than most women. Rey met his chest with ease, and a stray thought crossed his mind that she was the perfect height to tuck into his arms. Deciding to listen to his instincts for once in life, he slung an arm around her shoulders, and she quickly nuzzled into his side.

 

He was right. It was perfect.

 

Ben quickly grabbed some cash from his wallet and tossed it on the bar, making sure he left a generous tip to the bartender.

 

He led the way out of the bar and down the block, doing his best to protect her from the chill in the night. Rey happily chatted away, clasping the hand that was around her shoulders with hers, and Ben’s heart skipped a beat at the contact.

 

Maybe this could be more than just a one night stand. Maybe this could be something permanent. Ben placed those thoughts aside. They weren’t something that needed to be dealt with right now. It was best to just live in the moment and not overthink what was happening. Right now all he wanted was to share more moments with her. If they went straight back to either of their places, it would cause their night to end sooner rather than later.

 

Rey’s laughter broke him out of his daze. “Where are you taking me?”

 

“I’m about to change your life,” he answered smugly, leading her a couple of blocks south.

 

“Well then, by all means lead the way,” she flirted.

 

Ben placed a kiss on her forehead in response. He did his best not to look at her reaction, knowing if she didn’t like it, she would pull away. If he did take a chance, he would see a blush grace her cheeks and her eyes lower demurely, as if she was shy by how gentle he could be.

 

“We’re here!” he proclaimed, proudly standing in front of a food truck.

 

“Ben, you shouldn’t have,” she teased.

 

“I’ll have you know they have the best Philly cheesesteaks in the city.”

 

“Oh, keep talking Ben,” she seductively whispered.

 

“They marinate the steak for at least twelve hours,” he whispered in her ear.

 

She moaned in appreciation, “Ben, you are a man after my own heart.”

 

Ben gave her a lopsided grin as he strode to the counter to order their food.

 

“If this isn’t everything you dreamed of and more,” he told her as they sat at a small table the food truck propped up, “then I don’t think this relationship is gonna work out.”

 

Rey glanced up at him, fighting back a grin. “You are saying you would pick food over me?”

 

“When it comes to this sandwich? Yes, absolutely,” he gravely told her.

 

“I think we are gonna get along quite well.” She wasn’t even trying to fight back her smile now.

 

“Ready?” Ben asked as he held his sandwich in his hands.

 

She nodded in affirmation, bringing up the sandwich to her mouth and taking a big bite. He watched in eager anticipation, wanting to see her reaction.

 

“Holy fucking shit,” she said in amazement.

 

“Yep.”

 

“This is —”

 

“I know.”

 

“I think I love you.”

 

“You’re talking to the sandwich, aren’t you?”

 

“Ben, be quiet. You are ruining love at first bite,” she shot back, eyes fluttering closed as she savored another mouthful.

 

Ben bit his bottom lip. He never did think love at first sight was real. But maybe, just maybe, tonight he would make an exception.

 

They ate in silence, neither feeling uncomfortable. Normally, Ben’s mind would be a tidal wave of thoughts, each one more agonizing than the other: trying to fill the silence, wondering what he was doing wrong, was the girl really interested in him, was she after his money, should he have not made that joke earlier.

 

But now...his mind was silent. Beautiful and blessed silence as he happily watched her munch on the sandwich. He never took any of his other dates here, but he knew he wanted to share this one thing with her, even if they never saw each other again after tonight. Just one more place to be touched by her presence.

 

“That was perfect. No other sandwich will ever compare to that one,” she mumbled happily, patting her full stomach.

 

“Glad you liked it.”

 

“I am feeling a bit thirsty though.”

 

“Oh, I can go get us some drinks if you want. Sorry, I should have thought that through,” Ben immediately began to apologize, blushing through his embarrassment.

 

Rey laid her hand on top of his. “That isn’t exactly what I’m thirsty for.”

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

“Well then, by all means lead the way,” he answered in a daze, throwing her words back at her.

 

They both reached for each other’s hand on instinct. His large hand enveloped her small one, and he glanced down at their intertwined fingers in a brief moment of wonder, knowing how perfect she fit in his.

 

Rey led them to her apartment.

 

“My friend lives around here,” Ben whispered looking around at the familiar buildings. “There’s this great coffee shop nearby. I don’t remember the name though.”

 

“Really? I just moved to this area for a new job. If you remember it, let me know,” she answered, climbing up the steps to her apartment, entering the key to the lobby to let them in.

 

Thick tension enveloped them as they entered the small elevator. Ben could feel it crackle between them. She stood next to him, glancing back and forth between his eyes and lips. His lips parted in anticipation as he took in her flushed skin. He clasped his hands together, knowing if he touched her skin right now they would never make it to the apartment.

 

The ding of the elevator caused the two to break apart as if they were doing something unsavory. Rey let out a little chuckle, nodding her head to let him know to follow her. Ben trailed her steps as if he was a bodyguard protecting her from any threat. He watched her stop in front of a door as she brought out her keys, opening the door to let them in.

 

As soon as Rey locked the door behind them, Ben pounced on her. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, trailing every curve and dip on her body. He felt her shiver underneath his hands, and oh yes, he would do this again and again to make her feel like this. Her lips latched on his, sucking and nipping, eliciting groans from his throat. While she kissed him, her hands went to his jacket and shirt, undressing him with a fervor he would admire if he wasn’t lost in the softness in her skin.

 

Rey’s hands slipped under his shirt, grazing his skin. “Take this off, Ben,” she ordered.

 

He stepped back and hastily took off his shirt. He didn’t miss the way her eyes widened, gazing over his skin hungrily.

 

“Shit, Ben, you’re ripped,” she mumbled, stepping closer to him, dragging her nails over his body. He shuddered in anticipation as he felt her warm breath on his skin. At the first kiss that landed on his chest, he gasped. When he felt her tongue trace over his nipple, his knees buckled. She grinned into his skin like she knew he was going to come undone.

 

“Bedroom?” he asked.

 

“Down the hallway,” she mumbled against his skin, kissing lower and lower. If she did what he thought she was going to do, he wasn’t going to last. His hand yanked one of her buns gently, forcing her to look up at him. Her pupils were blown wide, and she whimpered at the pressure she felt on her head. He watched in fascination as her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

 

Fuck.

 

She stood in front of him, taking off her sweatshirt, leaving herself bare in the jeans she wore and a black lace bralette. Ben slowly raised his hand, reaching behind her to take her hair out of the buns, letting it fall around her shoulders in a wavy mess. Rey pushed against his broad shoulders, placing her lips against his. Her tongue traced against the seam there, and he opened eagerly, letting her in. He bent forward to grab her ass in his hands, squeezing her closer to him. She gasped in his mouth as she felt his large hands lift her in the air, and she wrapped her legs around him eagerly. They both hastily kicked off their shoes as he carried them to the bedroom, leaving a trail of shoes and socks in their wake.

 

He deposited her on the bed and he fumbled with the belt on his jeans, feeling Rey’s fingers trying to help him. In a rush, they shoved his jeans to the ground leaving him in his dark boxers standing before Rey. He pushed her down on the bed and he heard her breath quicken in the dark as he dragged her jeans off.

 

Ben trailed his lips along the inside of her leg, lingering against her skin the closer he got to her warm center.

 

“Ben, please,” she whimpered.

 

Ben nuzzled the inside of her thigh, inhaling deeply as he took in her scent. It was _intoxicating_.

 

“Please, what?” he murmured against her thigh. She whimpered as she felt his hot breath so achingly close to where she needed him to be. Her body squirmed in anticipation.

 

Instead of answering, Rey sat up and pulled her underwear off rapidly, tossing them onto the floor behind him as he watched in amusement.

 

“I can take a hint,” he whispered, eyes worshipping her naked form as she presented herself before him. Time froze as he took in her dilated pupils and her flushed skin. His eyes trailed over her ravenously before focusing on her warm center.

 

This woman was going to wreck him, and damn was he looking forward to it.


	3. Rewind – Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which there is smut and Ben makes a terrible life decision:
> 
>  
> 
> The sound of a bell tinkling behind him let him know the appearance of another customer had arrived, and he politely stepped to the side. 
> 
> “Hey man,” Poe stepped to his side, clapping his back. Ben nodded in response, fighting the urge to sigh.
> 
> Poe took in his clothing, and a sly smile erupted on his face. “Are those the clothes from yesterday?” he gleefully asked.
> 
> “Fuck off,” Ben replied without any heat.
> 
> “Ben!” The barista called, placing his order on the counter.
> 
> “Great, you ordered for me already!” Poe interjected, grabbing the coffee and taking a sip. Ben glowered.
> 
> “What?” Poe asked, unaware of the reason why his friend was giving him the stink eye.
> 
> “Just, nevermind,” Ben sighed, watching Poe take a bite out of one of the croissants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I would not be here if not for my main babe, Lindsay. The best beta and reylo friend a girl could ask for. Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)
> 
> This is my first smut scene people! Smut has arrived! This is not a drill! Also, I would not have been able to write this steamy scene without my wonderful reylo babes: Waffles, Trish, Heathyr, Lee, Ruby, Em. Also, thanks to my Reylo Smut Queen KyloTrashForever for blessing my smut scene with her amazing skills. I love you guys!

Ben stared at Rey as if she was a body of water in the middle of the desert he desperately wanted to devour and drink his fill. He placed his lips on the spot she wanted him most. A moan escaped her at the first contact of his tongue through her folds. Ben dug his large fingers into her thighs, squeezing her, caressing her, pulling her as close to his mouth as he could.

 

She was already drenched.

 

Dragging his tongue along her folds in one broad stripe, he stopped right above her clit, breathing on it gently. Rey keened, arching her back in response to the different sensation. She grazed her fingers through his hair, trying to push his head to her swollen bud.

 

Ben’s hot tongue flicked her clit in a swift movement.

 

“Fuck,” she hissed. “Do that again.”

 

Ben flicked it once more, priding himself at the sounds that were falling from Rey’s lips. His cock was twitching in his boxers, aching to be touched, but he would willingly wait until his woman came undone.

 

His plump lips attached to her clit as he slipped one of his large fingers inside of her.

 

“More, I need more,” she rasped.

 

He didn’t need to be told twice. Ben slipped his middle finger inside her slick walls. Her warm cunt clenched around his fingers, trapping them inside of her, and _fuck_ did that image do things to him.

 

He pumped his fingers in rhythm with his tongue, proud of the way she was begging — _more, faster, yes, just like that, oh fuck_.

 

All too soon she was falling over the edge, her legs squeezing around his head, her fingers pulling at his hair roughly in a way he enjoyed. Ben still licked and pumped like a man starved, wanting to feel Rey finish out her orgasm.

 

Rey did her best to squirm away from his ministrations, but he placed his large palm on her stomach, holding her still until she finally stopped clenching around him.

 

He pulled away from her warm center with a lewd sound, his mouth glistening with her juices under the light entering her bedroom.

 

“So, you satisfied yet?” he asked with a smirk, crawling up to her like a lion about to pounce.

 

“I thought I told you, I’m never satisfied,” she whispered into the space between them, pulling his head down to place a hungry kiss at his lips. She could taste herself on him, and she felt wetness trickle down her leg. Rey couldn’t remember ever being this turned on.

 

He lazily kissed her as she dragged her hands along his back, pushing his broad chest into her small breasts. Ben fought back a yelp as she sat up, forcing him to sit on his knees as she straddled him, pressing her wet center into his hard cock.

 

“Shit, Rey,” he moaned, tilting his head back in pleasure, staring at the ceiling.

 

“Shh,” she whispered in his ear, her tongue darting out to lick his earlobe. He bucked at the contact, doing nothing to help alleviate the friction he desperately needed. His boxers kept his hard length contained and away from where he truly wanted to be.

 

Rey continued licking and tugging on his earlobe, with one hand pulling at his hair and the other plucking at his nipple, something he never even knew was sensitive. Ben had a vague thought that he wouldn’t last much longer.

 

That was the last coherent thought he had before she began to grind on him, his boxers getting soaked with every thrust. Ben wrapped her small form in his arms, squeezing her tightly, forcing her to stop.

 

“Is there a problem?” she teased, trailing her soft lips from his ear to his neck. In one quick movement, she dragged her tongue along his throat, biting down at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Rey felt a sense of pride that even after tonight he would carry a bruise from her lips, marking him as hers for one night.

 

Ben whimpered at the jolt of pain.

 

“I think I can help with that,” she finished, pushing him back to the bed, forcing him to lay on the thousands of pillows she surrounded herself each night. Rey gave him a cunning grin, slowly dragging her hands down his chest, stopping slightly at the waistband of his boxers. Without breaking eye contact, she dragged his underwear off, springing his cock free from its prison, and fuck, that was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

 

Rey licked her lips as she took in the sight of his swollen red tip, just aching to be touched.

 

“You want this, don’t you?’

 

Ben nodded helplessly.

 

“Now Ben, we are both adults here. Use your words,” she chided. In that moment, Ben regretted making Rey beg for his mouth earlier. She knew how to fight dirty.

 

“Rey, I don’t just want this. I _need_ this,” he gritted out.

 

“Was that so hard?” she asked, leaning over his throbbing erection in uncontained joy.

 

Rey’s tongue darted out, licking his shaft in one movement, before swallowing as much of him as she could.

 

Ben curled his hands in fists, doing his best not to grab the back of her head to help her mouth fuck him. Rey’s mouth was small, or maybe his dick was too big, but what part of him she couldn’t take in her mouth she wrapped her hand nimbly around.

 

Rey did her best to tease him, pumping and licking him in fast motions until she felt his thighs tighten, and then she would pull off him with a pop, slowing her movements. By the third time of her teasing him like this, Ben was a whimpering mess. He knew Rey liked this. She liked feeling in control just as much as he liked bringing those sexy moans of hers to the surface of her lips.

 

Ben caught her eye as she smiled at him with a confident glare, and a surge of competitiveness flooded his bloodstream. His arm snaked out, pulling her body away from his weeping cock with a jolt.

 

“I think you need to be fucked now,” he mumbled against her lips.

 

Rey let out a laugh and reached over to the drawer next to her bed, searching its contents with shaking hands before letting out a squeal of excitement, the glint of a small foil packet in her hands.

 

Ben took it from her and ripped it open with his teeth. Rey thought she was going to come again from the sight. Her pussy clenched in excitement as she watched him roll the condom onto his length.

 

Ben rolled her over quickly, landing on top of her as she felt her back pressed into the mattress. His right hand slid in between them as he aligned himself with her center. Rey wiggled in excitement, wrapping her arms around his neck, causing their foreheads to touch gently against one another.

 

Brown eyes met her hazel ones as he entered her slowly, relishing in the feel of her warm and wet cunt encasing his cock. Both of their eyes widened at the sensation, making the fucking they were enjoying that much more intimate.

 

“Ben,” she breathed out, “you can go faster.”

 

“If I do, I won’t last long,” he joked self-deprecatingly. “You feel so good, Rey. No one has ever felt this way to me before,” he whispered. Ben realized a moment too late that bringing up past partners probably wasn’t the best way to get the girl in his bed to orgasm. He was surprised to see her look away self-consciously at the mention of not being like anyone else.

 

He tilted her head back to his, forcing her to meet his eyes as he pushed fully inside her. They both let out moans at the feeling of him being fully sheathed inside of her.

 

Ben leaned his forehead against hers once more, breathing heavily, watching her mouth widen in surprise as she grew accustomed to his size. Rey closed her eyes as she adjusted herself, letting out a breathy moan, biting her lip in a poorly concealed way to hide how fast she was breathing.

 

“You okay?” he asked her.

 

“You’re just so...big,” she breathed against his lips.

 

A full smirk erupted on his face as his eyebrow raised in contentment, his male pride pleased at her praise.

 

“Oh shut up and prove to me you can actually do something with it,” she snarkily replied, doing her best to wipe that handsome smirk off his face.

 

That was all Ben needed to hear before he slowly exited her and thrust back in, his hips rocking in a swift motion.

 

“Yes, Ben,” she moaned, digging her nails in his back as she repeated the motion. She did her best to meet him thrust for thrust.

 

After one particular hard push, she scratched at his back, ribbons of his skin caught under her nails.

 

“Rey, if you keep that up, I’m going to hold your hands so you can’t touch me at all,” he threatened.

 

She whimpered, and he felt her clench him tightly in response. Oh, she _liked_ that idea.

 

Never breaking his stride, he sat up, pulling her hands away from his back while simultaneously pushing her knees against her stomach to push himself further inside of her. He grabbed her hands, holding them above her head as he leaned forward.

 

Rey mewled at the feeling of Ben deeper inside her, claiming her, marking her, just _ruining_ her for anyone else.

 

“Tell me what you need,” he grunted as he fucked her relentlessly, knowing she was close but not quite there yet.

 

“Touch me, please. Ben, I want to feel you inside me. I need it, please. Fuck me hard. Make me yours,” she babbled.

 

Words ceased to come out of her mouth the minute his thick thumb found her clit, swollen in excitement, just begging to be touched. He rubbed his thumb against her clit in fast circles, taking cues from her whimpers and rough breathing; the way she fought against his hands in an effort to hold onto something as she felt her orgasm creep closer by his movements.

 

“Rey, you feel so good. I want you to come for me. I want to know that you came undone from me and me alone. No one else will ever be as good as me. Say it,” he ordered, fucking her hard into the mattress.

 

“No one,” she gasped, “no one will ever be as good as you Ben. Only you. Only you,” she panted heavily, scratching at his back, doing her best to hold him tight against her as she breathed those sweet words in his ears.

 

Ben felt her cunt tighten against his cock before spasming, clenching him in waves. She came with his name on her lips. In that moment, Ben came undone, feeling his cock twitching inside of her as her center milked him for all he had.  

 

“God Rey, you’re perfect,” he murmured, letting her hands go as he felt her legs straighten out. He pressed himself against her, trailing soft kisses along her sternum, making his way up her neck, breathing in the sweet and salty scent of their sex in the air.

 

“You aren’t so bad yourself,” she tiredly responded, wrapping her arms around him, tilting her head so he could have better access to her neck. Goosebumps erupted on her flesh as she felt his wet tongue trace her jawline to her ear before bringing his lips back to hers. He softly kissed her as he slipped out of her. She hummed contentedly.

 

“Still think you’ve never been satisfied?”

 

“That’s up for debate,” she cheekily answered.

 

“You are gonna be the death of me, woman.”

 

Rey just laughed, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead and Ben was struck with how domestic that one movement was. Maybe this could be more than a one night stand. It was obvious she was attracted to him, and some part of her must have liked him enough to bring him back to her apartment. He could stay the night, hold her as she slept, and even surprise her with coffee or breakfast.

 

Ben smiled softly into her shoulder as he thought that maybe, just _maybe_ he deserved this.

 

The illusion shattered as Rey tried to slip out from underneath him.

 

“I have to pee. I really don’t want a UTI,” she answered the unspoken question between them. “Besides, you need to throw that condom away.”

 

Ben felt his cheeks flush as he felt the cold synthetic rubber still wrapped around his now soft dick. Right. That would be nice. He rolled off of her, slipping the condom off, careful not to spill any of his sperm on her sheets before tying the top in a knot.

 

Ben followed her naked form to the bathroom, very happy to get a view of her from behind. That curve of her spine begged to be touched by his fingers. His body seemed to work faster as he caught up to her in two quick strides, fingers outstretched as he trailed the dip of her back.

 

Rey shivered, smiling shyly as she turned to face him.

 

“What was that?” she asked.

 

“I just...your back is gorgeous. That dip could destroy me. The way it leads to your perfect ass. Just, damn,” he whispered in her ear as he stepped behind her. He wanted to encase her body in his arms and never let her go.

 

She blushed and didn’t say anything for a moment. Ben began to panic as his words hung in the air between them. Fuck, he just ruined it all, and she was probably going to kick him out now, forced to go home, naked as the day he was born. Maybe she would at least let him grab his boxers and wallet. Forget everything else.

 

While he delved into the worst scenarios, Rey turned around and tilted her head up to him, placing a hand on his arm so she could use it as leverage to place a kiss on his now pink cheeks.

 

“You’re sweet,” she thanked him. “Come on, Romeo.” She grabbed his hand and led him to a small bathroom, one of the doors that he hadn’t noticed as he carried her to the bedroom. “Just give me a minute,” she said, shutting the door between them.

 

Ben leaned against the wall, waiting patiently for his turn. A moment later, Rey exited the restroom and made her way back to the bedroom, stepping carefully over the shoes and socks they’d left.

 

He watched her go before stepping inside the restroom. Ben was shocked at how ruined he looked. He looked over his mussed up hair and turned around to see the scratches she’d given him on his back.

 

He loved every mark she gave him, and would gladly take more.

 

After cleaning himself off, he made his way back to her bedroom, watching from the foot of the bed, unsure in the moment if he was to leave or stay.

 

“Come to bed, it’s cold,” Rey mumbled sleepily, patting the spot next to her.

 

The decision seemed to be made for him. Ben’s lips tugged upward in a small smile as he padded his way to her bed. She moved over, letting his long limbs tangle under the sheets next to her lithe form.

 

He was surprised to feel her wrap her arms around him like a koala bear, snuggling in closer as she nuzzled his neck.

  
“You’re so warm,” she yawned, eyelids fluttering closed as Ben pulled her in closer. He watched her for a moment, brushing her hair out of her face before letting sleep take him.

 

\----

 

Sunshine filtered through the poorly drawn curtains and Ben awoke to something warm against him.

 

He sighed happily, snuggling in closer, trying to get comfortable again before trying to go back to sleep.

 

The pillow he was holding moved and moaned happily.

 

That wasn’t right, his sleep-muddled brain supplied. Pillows didn’t move.

 

Ben’s eyes sprung open, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings. He didn’t recognize where he was. Panic began to overtake him as the thing next to him burrowed in closer. His gaze fell upon Rey’s sleeping form, and in a moment, memories from last night came flooding.

 

He took heavy breaths, steadying his rapid heartbeat. With a lick of his lips, he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead before slinking out of the bed. He was pleased to see her whimper sullenly and reach for his warmth. Ben tucked her back into the sheets, making sure she was warm before grabbing his clothes scattered around the floor.

 

With a quick stop to the restroom to the freshen up, he made his way out of her apartment, looking for a coffee shop to bring her back breakfast.

 

**Ben:** <Where is that coffee shop by your apartment?>

**Ben:** <The one that you said had really good coffee and croissants?>

 

**Poe** : <Fuck Ben, it’s too early for this shit>

 

**Ben:** <Remember when you dragged me out to the bar in another town when I had an 8am class the next day?>

 

**Poe:** <Stop living in the past>

**Poe:** <Wait, why are you in my neighborhood?>

**Poe:** <Did you meet a lady at the bar last night, you sly dog>

 

**Ben:** <Nevermind, I’m just using Google>

 

**Poe:** <I kid, I kid. Kinda. It’s called Rebels. Like a block down from my building. I’ll meet you>

 

Ben dragged a hand across his face, not wanting to deal with Poe’s incessant questioning on where he was last night. The little safety bubble that surrounded Rey and himself was in danger of being popped.

 

**Ben:** <That’s really not necessary>

 

**Poe:** <I insist, really. Be there in 10>

 

Fuck.

 

Ben rolled his eyes, already thinking of ways to escape from his friend’s clutches so he could crawl back into bed with the beautiful woman with hazel eyes. The entire night seemed like a dream, and he was loath to meet with reality.

 

He punched the address in the phone, figuring out which direction he needed to walk in. In a few minutes, he came across a quaint coffee shop painted in orange and white colors with cozy furniture scattered around.

 

Ben made his way to the counter and ordered two black coffees to go, with creamer and sugar on the side. He hoped Rey would appreciate the gesture, even if he didn’t know how she took her coffee. She was British, maybe she didn’t even drink coffee. Kriff, what if she preferred tea? Forcing the self-doubt away, he also ordered croissants and muffins to take back with him.

 

The sound of a bell tinkling behind him let him know the appearance of another customer had arrived, and he politely stepped to the side.

 

“Hey man,” Poe stepped to his side, clapping his back. Ben nodded in response, fighting the urge to sigh.

 

Poe took in his clothing, and a sly smile erupted on his face. “Are those the clothes from yesterday?” he gleefully asked.

 

“Fuck off,” Ben replied without any heat.

 

“Ben!” The barista called, placing his order on the counter.

 

“Great, you ordered for me already!” Poe interjected, grabbing the coffee and taking a sip. Ben glowered.

 

“What?” Poe asked, unaware of the reason why his friend was giving him the stink eye.

 

“Just, nevermind,” Ben sighed, watching Poe take a bite out of one of the croissants.

 

Poe shrugged, not willing to press further. He ended up grabbing the rest of the pastries and making his way to a table, facing the door, forcing Ben to take the seat opposite of him.

 

“So you gonna tell me about her?” Poe asked, sipping the black coffee.

 

Ben just met him with a stare instead.

 

“Fine, no big. I’ll find out eventually. I always find out, Ben. No secrets between us,” Poe laughed.

 

Ben just rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the croissant. Damn, Poe was right. These were good. He would definitely be bringing Rey back some.

 

“So how was the rest of your night after you left the bar?” Ben asked, eager to change the topic.

 

“Just went home and started the next season of Game of Thrones. I’m in season five now. I can’t believe you let me fall behind!”

 

“Poe, I told you it was a good show. And what did you say? Something along the lines of not in the mood to watch some Tolkien-based fanfiction?”

 

“You were so mad when I said that. It was pretty funny.” Poe grinned at the memory. “Anyways, Sansa is about to get married. I feel for...that...damn,” Poe breathed, staring at the door.

 

“Poe?” Ben asked, never seeing his friend look like that before.

 

“I think my heart just went boom,” Poe said dreamily, following someone’s form as they made their way to the counter. “This one’s mine,” he claimed.

 

Ben laughed, turning around to see what girl could possibly make Poe look so helpless.

 

His grin faltered as he saw Rey standing at the counter, wearing a fresh pair of yoga pants and another baggy sweatshirt that seemed to hide all the markings from last night.

 

Her voice carried through the almost empty cafe, asking for a caramel macchiato, and Ben faintly realized he ordered the wrong thing for her.

 

His face paled as he looked at Rey standing like she was the embodiment of sunshine itself, hair in a messy bun, grinning like she wasn’t up until late last night being fucked by him, her tanned and freckled skin that was kissed by him hidden away underneath his clothes. Like a dirty little secret she tucked and hid away, not wanting to relive her past mistakes.

 

He looked back at Poe, and with a heavy heart, he realized three fundamental truths at the exact same time.

 

The first truth he realized was all they had last night was a one-night stand. It was evident that Rey felt that way by her showing up here, not even noticing him as he sat by his friend. She could have stayed in bed. She could have pretended to wait for him. At least for a bit. But she was here, carrying on with her day like last night never happened.

 

It hurt him more than he wanted to admit.

 

Number two — he realized he would never be good enough her. He still had too many issues to deal with. Ben had just started contacting his parents on a regular basis. He was brash, irrational, and prone to angry outbursts. Not to mention there was no way someone as beautiful as Rey would want to be with someone like him. He was too tall with too big of ears that he liked to keep hidden. She deserved someone better than him, someone like...well, like Poe.

 

Which brought him to his third truth. He knew Poe better than anyone he had ever met. Hell, he knew Poe better than he knew his own mind. If Ben told Poe that she was the woman he spent the night with, he would step back in a heartbeat. He would let Ben be with Rey in peace. Poe was better than Ben would ever be. Rey would never find anymore trusting or as kind as Poe was. She deserved the best.

 

Sadly, the best wasn’t him.

 

Ben looked at Poe’s awestruck face and glanced at Rey one last time before making the decision that would alter his life forever.

 

“Hey Poe, want me to introduce you?”


	4. That Would Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was a fool to think Leia wouldn’t know. She knew everything. 
> 
> “You are both crazy for each other! I knew it the minute Han brought her home for family dinner and I introduced you two. It was a shock enough for you to say you and Rey met before, but the minute y’all both said ‘We keep meeting’ at the same time. That was a sign if I ever heard one. Not to mention you couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Nor she you.”
> 
> “Mom, she is with Poe. She loves him. And he is good for her. Rey deserves the best.”
> 
> “You are the best,” she emphasized, pressing a cheek to his face. “I admire your intentions, and I see where you are coming from. However, it is Rey’s choice too. She deserves to know before she makes the decision for herself.”
> 
> “And if I lose her completely because of this?”
> 
> Leia stopped in her tracks, staring up at Ben with imploring eyes. “My sweet Ben, if you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to Lindsay. I would not be here without you! Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)
> 
> Also, this one is for you Heathyr! Hope this is a good gift - Check out her fics here:[MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)

Ben watched Rey dance circles around Poe’s family with her best friend Finn. He loved their friendship. If anything ever happened to him, he knew Finn would be there to step in and make sure she was okay. Ben loved Finn for that.

 

Poe slumped against the wall next to Ben, handing him a shot of whiskey. 

 

“Cheers, Benny boy!” Poe tapped Ben’s shot glass before tipping it back.

 

“Don’t you guys have any taste? We are at an engagement party,” Hux strode up to the two, a flute of champagne in his hand.

 

“Hugs! You made it,” Poe squealed, enveloping him in a hug.

 

“Don’t you have any tea around here? Rey would have made sure there was a decent setup,” Hux commented.

 

“My mother refused to cater to her British ways,” Poe chuckled. “I swear those two are night and day.”

 

Ben bit back a remark, knowing he had no right to make a comment on the relationship of Poe’s family. Hux did not follow the same mindset.

 

“Poe, how did you let the relationship between your mom and Rey get so bad?”

 

“Rey doesn’t mind. She’s a fighter. I know she can handle Mom,” Poe shrugged.

 

“You’re playing a dangerous game. May the Queen show you her mercy.”

 

“Is she in Jersey? I had no idea, I assure you,” Poe teased.

 

Hux rolled his eyes in response, emptying the contents of his flute.

 

“Here comes the general! Rise up, Ben,” Hux whispered, watching Leia Organa striding in, an air of confidence surrounding her.

 

Ben hastily stood up and straightened his bow tie, knowing without a doubt he messed up Rey’s earlier efforts. There was something with seeing his mother at a black-tie affair that made him revert back to the teenage boy stuck in etiquette classes. 

 

Leia strode directly up to Rey with her arms outstretched, marching right past Mrs. Dameron to envelope Rey in a hug. Bless his mom — the minute she found out about the troubles between Rey and Mrs. Dameron, she did everything in her power to make Rey feel loved. Rey smiled brightly and squeezed her back. Ben was captivated watching Rey laugh as she pushed Finn aside to begin a dance with Leia in her arms. Rey’s height allowed her to lead Leia across the floor.

 

“See Poe, that’s what Rey deserves to have,” Hux commented. 

 

“Oh shove it, Hux. She’s my fiance, not yours.” The tense tone in Poe’s voice made it clear this was no longer up for discussion. 

 

Ben stayed out of the argument, watching his two favorite women dance with one another. If he concentrated hard enough, he could pretend this was his engagement party with Rey. Shaking himself out of the daydream that caused more heartbreak than happiness, Ben decided to make his way to the bar again. 

 

He lost count on how many drinks he had that day. A designated driver would be needed for him to make his way home. As he waited for the bartender to come back with another glass of whiskey, a tanned hand with purple nails found his arm.

 

“Ben, it’s been too long,” she purred.

 

“Bazine,” he nodded politely, dislodging his arm from her grip as gently as he could.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Same as you I expect,” he quipped. 

 

“We can always get out of here if you want,” she whispered, grazing her nails up his arm to his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

 

“Don’t touch me so familiar-like.”

 

“Are we going to forget what we had all those years ago, Ben?”

 

“Our relationship was nothing but a shit show Bazine. You used me for my money and my name.”

 

“I’m a trust-fund baby just like you. You can trust me. That was just a misunderstanding.”

 

“Who even invited you here?” he hissed.

 

“The Damerons,” she pouted.

 

“Ben, is everything alright?” Rey’s voice cut through him, instantly causing him to relax.

 

“Rey, everything is fine. May I escort you to Poe?” Ben turned away from Bazine, offering his arm to her in a gesture that would make his mother proud.

 

“Actually, your mother wanted to speak with you,” Rey replied, glancing between Ben and Bazine with a hint of...jealousy? 

 

Ben shook his head. All this alcohol was making him imagine things. 

 

“Ben, how have you been?” Leia strode in front of him, taking in the linked arms of Ben and Rey with a pleased look in her eye.

 

“Mother.” Ben stooped low to press a chaste kiss to his mother’s cheek. 

 

“I was actually hoping you would enjoy the next dance with me?” Her tone suggested no was not an option.

 

Rey grinned mischievously between the two. 

 

“You knew Mom wanted to dance with me, didn’t you?” Ben turned to face Rey.

 

“I knew no such thing,” she objected, biting her bottom lip to keep from smiling.

 

“Liar,” he teased.

 

“What would I do without my right-hand man?” Leia interrupted the two, squeezing Rey’s hand lovingly. “Now, shall we son?”

 

Ben gestured for his mother to lead before wrapping an arm around her and leading her into a waltz.

 

“How long are you going to let this go on?”

 

“What?” Ben asked, not breaking eye contact with Rey as she watched from the edge of the dance floor.

 

“Can I be real a second? Just a millisecond?”

 

“When are you ever not?”

 

Leia ignored his barb. “Any hope of success is fleeting on you and Rey being together. I told myself you would deal with it in your own time, and I wouldn’t push you if you weren’t ready. I know how you two feel about each other. I just didn’t think you two would be stupid enough to let this relationship with Poe carry on like this.”

 

“What in the black hole are you talking about?” Ben stared at his mother in horror. She knew this whole time, and she didn’t say anything. Memories of Leia telling Rey she was the daughter she always wanted, letting her have use of the family jewels, even going so far as telling Rey she can use the name Padme if she ever had a girl all seemed to have a new meaning.

 

He was a fool to think Leia wouldn’t know. She knew everything. 

 

“You are both crazy for each other! I knew it the minute Han brought her home for family dinner and I introduced you two. It was a shock enough for you to say you and Rey met before, but the minute y’all both said ‘We keep meeting’ at the same time. That was a sign if I ever heard one. Not to mention you couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Nor she you.”

 

“Mom, she is with Poe. She loves him. And he is good for her. Rey deserves the best.”

 

“You are the best,” she emphasized, pressing a cheek to his face. “I admire your intentions, and I see where you are coming from. However, it is Rey’s choice too. She deserves to know before she makes the decision for herself.”

 

“And if I lose her completely because of this?”

 

Leia stopped in her tracks, staring up at Ben with imploring eyes. “My sweet Ben, if you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?”

 

With that last statement, Leia watched as Ben pursed his lips in a thin line, turning from her and walking away without another word. He pushed his way out the entrance, not bothering to say bye to anyone as he fled the party. His heart felt like it dropped to his stomach. He felt sweat pool around his neck and his tie constricting his neck. 

 

His mother had no idea what she was talking about. Rey was perfection. She was the sun and he was just another planet revolving around her, happily trapped in her gravitational pull. He wasn’t good enough for her. No one would ever be good enough for her. 

 

Ben wished with his entire, torn apart soul that he would be enough for Rey. He would be the one thing that she needed to complete her life. He would love her unconditionally, wholly, and open his heart to her. 

 

He couldn't think about that. Rey was with Poe, and that was that. If she wanted to be with him, she would have said something, wouldn’t she? What was he to her? What was he compared to Poe?

 

Alcohol addled his brain and he knew he couldn’t dwell on this. All he wanted to do was to go home and drink more whiskey while he listened to Johnny Cash’s  _ You Are My Sunshine _ on repeat. 

 

With a quick tap of his fingers, he waited for the Uber to take him to his empty home, knowing that Rey was right this whole time. He would never be satisfied.

 

\----

 

Rey watched as Ben abruptly left the dance floor, making his way to the exit, leaving Leia alone on the dance floor.

 

“Is everything alright?” she asked as she walked up to Leia.

 

“Everything’s fine, dear. He just needs to sort some stuff out.”

 

“I should go check on him. Just to make sure everything is okay,” she muttered, handing her flute to Leia. 

 

“You’re going to leave your engagement party to check on my son?” Leia asked, not making a move for the glass in Rey’s outstretched hand. Her eyebrows raised as she studied the guarded look on Rey’s face. “Maybe there is hope for you yet,” she continued softly.

 

“What does that mean, Leia?” Rey asked, not willing to budge.

 

“Nothing at all my dear. Excuse me, I still have to say hi that dreadful woman.” Leia walked past Rey, making her way to Mrs. Dameron to thank her for inviting her to the lovely party.

 

Rey sipped at her drink in a failed attempt to hide the blush that was now covering her face. There was no way Leia suspected how she felt about Ben. She bit her lip as she recalled the memories of their first meeting together. She awoke to an empty bed and knew that was that. What hurt most of all was how Ben had no problem pushing her to the next person he deemed fit. 

 

Despite that, she still longed for him, even knowing he had never been hers to begin with. And in a sick and twisted move, she forced herself to stay with Poe, just to keep Ben’s eyes in her life. 

 

She survived so much in her life, and she was brought down by a pair of pretty eyes. She knew Poe was a great guy, but he wasn’t Ben. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? 

 

Her whole life she fought to prove she was more than enough, and the one person she wanted to be enough for, didn’t want her. Instead, he was the best man at her wedding. The wedding she didn’t want. Her heart was being crushed with all the emotions swirling inside of her. There was something inside of her, wanting to be free, wanting to stop this, wanting to be back in control. She chewed the inside of her cheek, desperately trying to find a way to escape from the corner she was backed in. 

 

Just for a moment, she allowed herself to drown in a fantasy where they were enough for one another. A fantasy where they could care less about the stresses of life, just happy to come home to one another. A fantasy where they would be enough for one another, where she got to be involved in his narrative for the rest of her life, not just a page in his. 

 

“Rey, is it? Congratulations on your engagement,” a pretty blonde snapped her out of her fantasy and escorted her away from the dance floor.

 

“Thank you, um…,” Rey trailed off, unsure of who this woman was.

 

“Kaydel Connix, I work with Poe,” she thrust her hand out for the introduction.

 

“Oh right, you must be Kay,” she shook her hand happily. Poe loved talking about Kay. Any chance he got he told stories about the antics him and Kaydel got into to annoy their boss, Amilyn Holdo.

 

“The one and only,” she grinned for a moment, before taking a step closer. “So I have to ask, how does one with your background somehow land a job at one of the best mechanical engineering firms this state has to offer?”

 

Rey’s smile faltered as she took in the woman next to her. Of course, she knew Kay meant well. Every blasted person who seemed to want to know how she rose up from the bottom to make it here. But Rey knew what they really meant.

 

How does a bastard, orphan, daughter of a whore and maybe even a Scotsman (who was she to remember what her father sounded like) who was dropped in the middle of London, somehow grow up to be a top mechanical engineer in the states?

 

Rey bit back her original retort and said, “Just lucky I guess.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what Poe and his mom say. He never met a girl more lucky than you. How is Mrs. Dameron? Isn’t she the best?” Kay laughed, clearly unaware she was treading dangerous territory.

 

Rey seethed on the inside. Luck had nothing to do with it. Luck didn’t cause her father to split, leaving her and her mother alone saddled in his debt. Luck didn’t help her when she and her mother caught pneumonia. She got better, but her mother went quick. Luck wasn’t on her side when she got saddled with some long lost cousin who ended up committing suicide, and she was forced into the foster care system.

 

The minute she stepped foot into Unkar Plutt’s foster care a voice she didn’t know she had rose within her, helping her realize that all she had now was her ruined pride. A voice that told her she had to fend for herself. She used to walk the streets famished as she made her way to and from school. Back then, Rey never thought she would make it past twenty, hell in the estate she grew up in some got half as many.

 

Rey knew she had brains, despite the lack of polish that the other students had. They always looked at her like she was stupid, but she wasn’t. She showed her teachers that she was a diamond in the rough, beating out everyone else for valedictorian and getting a full scholarship to NYU, escaping the shithole she was forced to call home.

 

She was just an orphan immigrant who knew she could make a difference by rising through the ranks at Millennium Falcon, catching the eye of Han Solo himself who started the company after he retired from racing. Rey never once mentioned she met his son that one night long ago, instead relying on her smarts. When Han found out she refused to mention she knew Ben, he respected her all the more. Han was like her, and he understood when she said she would make her own way in this life. 

 

Rey bit back her grimace as she nodded at Kaydel, breaking out of her reminiscence of her life. 

 

“It was lovely meeting you Kay, but I need to go find Poe,” Rey excused herself, looking for the one person she could rely on to help her feel better in these situations. She froze as she realized the person she most wanted to see was Ben. 

 

With that thought in mind, she left her own engagement party and hopped in her car, for once picking the man she truly wanted.

 

Thoughts of what he said throughout the speech began to swirl in her head, questioning everything she thought she knew about them. He couldn’t have meant what she thought, could he? After all this time he would have said something. Rey thought the shy glances and touches she gave him were unwanted. She reprimanded herself every time she gave in to the urge to caress Ben’s skin or meet his gorgeous brown eyes across a crowded room. 

 

But...if he wanted her, he would have been there when she awoke the next day. Not introducing Poe to her like she didn’t mean a thing to him. Although the bruises and markings left by him faded over time, her skin was still branded by him. She couldn’t bear the thought of another man touching her. 

 

To say she was shocked when Poe proposed to her without them even consummating their relationship would be an understatement. She thought he would tire of her eventually, and leave her behind. Rey had to hand it to Poe, she was rarely proven wrong, and he did the minute he got down on one knee to ask her the life-changing question. Poe was too wrapped up in the adrenaline, he didn’t even notice she never even said yes. He just placed the ring on her finger, all smiles and laughter.

 

Before she knew it she was parked outside of Ben’s house. What was she doing? She wasn’t supposed to be here. She didn’t even tell anyone she left. Not that anyone would notice. Poe was blitzed, and she knew everyone there besides Finn were friends of the Damerons. 

 

With that thought, she exited her car, smoothing out her dress as she teetered on the sidewalk that led to his front door.

 

Rey heard the voice of Johnny Cash blaring through the speakers, knowing Ben only listened to him when he was sad. Her pride told her she was the cause, but sanity told her she was a fool.

 

She steadied herself before loudly knocking on the door. 

 

“Ben open up, it’s me,” she called out. 

 

She heard him stumble through the house cursing as he tripped over something. Rey bit her bottom lip, not wanting to laugh at him when he opened the door.

 

The door opened brashly, showing a disheveled Ben in his white button down with rolled up sleeves and the top buttons undone. Rey had to stop herself from staring.

 

“Rey, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?’ he slurred.

 

“Are you drunk?” she asked, ignoring his question, pushing him aside as she made her way to his living room, toeing off her heels by the couch.

 

“I’m planning on getting there,” he answered, confusion etched on his face.

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You are the bride who left her engagement party.”

 

“The person I wanted to see most left,” she couldn’t help but answer honestly.

 

“Poe left you there alone?”

 

“Oh Ben, I was talking about you, you dolt. You know I can’t stand them. I couldn’t just be surrounded by all of their friends looking down at me. They all think it was just luck that I made it this far in life. They all think I’m no good for him. They all think I’m after him for his money,” she complained, laying down on the couch, throwing an arm over her face. “I hate it all,” her voice came out muffled.

 

“Come on Rey, you know they are idiots. They don’t know you.”

 

‘What if they are right?”

 

“I knew you were after his money,” he joked.

 

“Ben, I’m serious. I don’t deserve him. He’s too perfect.”

 

Ben bit back the bile in his throat as what she said hit home.

 

“Rey, I meant what I said. You deserve the best, and he is the best. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you.”

 

Rey watched him through the crack in her arm, eyeing him apprehensively, her hazel eyes trailing over his body. She swallowed, sitting up to pat the seat next to her.

 

“Ben, can I ask you something?”

 

“Yeah, anything,” he said sitting next to her. 

 

Rey adjusted her body so she was fully facing him. She took a deep breath before grabbing his hand.

 

“Did you mean it?” she asked.

 

“What?”

 

“Did you mean what you said in your speech? When you said you would always remember the way we met?” she whispered.

 

Ben’s heart began to break in a way he didn’t know it could when she uttered those words. He couldn’t do this. 

 

His breath stuttered as he forced himself to speak. “Rey, I meant about meeting you at the bar.”

 

“You’re lying. I saw the way you looked at me.” Her voice broke.

 

“I meant I was glad meeting you at the bar because it led you to Poe.”

 

He hated himself. He was the one thing in life he could control and he would wait forever for the moment where he could be selfish and take Rey in his arms. She never once hesitated, she never showed restraint. She takes and she takes, and he knew if she wanted him, he would already be hers.

 

“Why are you doing this to me, Ben?” 

 

He closed his eyes as he heard her swallow her tears the best she could. 

 

“Rey, I love you. You deserve the best.”

 

“Is that all you have to say?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she took in his stature. 

 

Ben opened his mouth, prepared to spill what he wanted to say since the moment he went out that one morning for them. 

 

“Fine, you want the truth,” Ben uttered, running his hands through his hair in frustration, “Here’s the –” Ben’s voice cut off as he heard his ringtone disrupt their conversation. 

 

He bit back a sigh as he stood to grab his phone on the kitchen counter, groaning at the name on the screen.

 

“Hey Poe,” he answered.

 

_ “Benny babe, is Rey with you? We can’t find her,”  _ Poe’s slurred voice came through.

 

“Yeah, she is with me. She just made sure I got home okay.”

 

_ “Great, tell her to call your mom. She wants to see her tomorrow, something about shopping? To be honest, I don’t really remember,”  _ Poe giggled. “ _ Oh and meet me at the bar tonight. We are celebrating my boy!” _

 

“Poe, you’re sloshed. Are you sure about this?”

 

_ “Sloshed he says. Can you believe this, Hugs? My best man wounds me so. He takes my name and he rakes it through the mud while my beloved awaits next to him, hearing him spout this nonsense.” _

 

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing fighting with a drunk Poe was an impossible task. 

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

_ “Great! Make sure Rey gets home safe. You are the only one I trust with her you know,” _ Poe declared.  _ “Finn will meet her there later. He said something about a wedding planning sleepover? I don’t really want to know. See you later Benny!”  _ Poe laughed before hanging up.

 

“What did Poe want?” Rey asked.

 

Ben jumped at the sound of her voice, forgetting she was in his living room for a moment. He stared at her sitting on the couch. She looked like she was home, sitting comfortably on his couch with her feet tucked underneath her. He wished this  _ was _ her home. Ben wished that for once in his life he could be enough,  _ they  _ could be enough. That would be enough.

 

“I am to take you home,” he answered.

 

Ben watched her lips purse in silence, knowing that his smart girl knew he wasn’t going to answer the question she begged him to. He wouldn’t go back to their last conversation. He couldn’t. If he did, there was no turning back.

 

“And what about Leia?” 

 

“She wants to take you shopping tomorrow.”

 

Rey nodded, pulling out her phone from a hidden pocket of her dress and sending a text to Leia regarding the information. In a moment, she got a text back confirming what Poe told Ben.

 

“I’ll see her before you grab lunch with her,” she told Ben, placing the phone away again.

 

“Shall we?” he asked, buttoning up his white dress shirt.

 

She led the way out the door, leaving him to trail through the path of his broken heart.


	5. The Story of Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia pursed her lips but didn’t pursue the matter any farther. She pushed Rey through the doors where they were instantly greeted by a saleswoman who was too perky for the early morning.
> 
> “Welcome Senator Organa, we have been expecting you. I’m Jessika, and I will be assisting you today. Is this the lucky woman then?” The saleswoman kissed Leia’s cheeks, then turning her attention on Rey. “My, you are a pretty thing aren’t you. Your facial structure is to die for. And those legs, I bet they go on for miles,” she smiled pleasantly.
> 
> “Um, thank you?” Rey answered, unsure what to make of this. “Leia, what exactly are we shopping for?”
> 
> “Why your wedding dress of course!”
> 
> Rey’s face paled as she glanced around. There were no wedding dresses on display, no bridal magazines anywhere, no blushing brides wanting to find the perfect dress for their perfect day.
> 
> “Don’t look like that Rey. I never had a daughter, and you know Ben. The day he finds someone he loves enough to get married I don’t think he would let me be there to pick out his suit.”
> 
> A stab of pain went through Rey’s heart at the mention of Ben marrying someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to Lindsay. I would not be here without you! You yeet the perfect amount and fangirl with me over the Hamtilton refernces. You are the best! Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)

“Well, this is it,” Hux declared, staring at his friends sitting in the booth next to him.

 

“What is?” Poe asked as he sipped his beer.

 

“This is the end of your life as you know it, but at least you have your friends with you,” Hux solemnly said.

 

Poe let out a laugh. “Marriage isn’t going to kill me.”

 

“I doubt that. I’ve seen wonders great and small, but if Poe can get married, then there’s hope for our asses after all, Ben,” Hux laughed, clinking Ben’s beer bottle.

 

Ben let out a laugh he didn’t feel as he took an obligatory sip.

 

“Speaking of which,” Hux continued, “Raise a glass to freedom, something you will never see again, no matter what she tells you.”

 

Poe laughed, raising his drink, watching as his two close friends tapped their drinks.

 

“Let’s have another round tonight, guys,” Ben interjected, not liking the things Hux was saying regarding Poe’s marriage to Rey.

 

Ben waved his hand to the waitress, signaling that the table wanted another round.

 

“So Ben, bringing anyone special to the wedding?” Poe teased.

 

“No, I don’t think so,” he attempted to chuckle.

 

“You know, Rey said the same thing, but Leia mentioned there was someone on the side you were interested in.”

 

Ben clenched his fist around the beer bottle. Damn his mother and her meddling ways. 

 

“Hey man, it’s alright if you finally found someone. If she caught your eye, she must be a great woman. I’m sure everyone will love her.”

 

Ben fidgeted with the label in his hands. “It’s not that simple,” he acquiesced.

 

“Why not?” Hux asked.

 

Ben stayed silent, not wanting to give them any more information. He had no right to complain to his best friend he was in love with his fiance, by his own hand no less.

 

“God Ben, I will never understand you. If you love this woman go get her. What are you waiting for?” Poe argued.

 

“It’s not important. Tonight isn’t about me, it’s about you marrying the girl of your dreams.”

 

“Speaking of which,” Hux stated slowly, “how is she in bed? She seems like she would be a fighter.”

 

Ben was clenching his bottle so hard, he thought it was going to crack. “Hux, don’t talk about Rey like that,” he growled out.

 

“Ben it’s fine, I don’t mind,” Poe interrupted.

 

Of course Poe didn’t mind, Ben wanted to shout, but  _ he  _ minded. He didn’t want to sit here and listen to all the ways Poe had her. Not when he could remember the way she screamed his name as she came undone beneath him. 

 

“We actually uh, haven’t done it,” Poe finished.

 

Ben’s mouth dropped open. There was no way in hell he heard that correctly.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Hux asked, shock etched on his face.

 

“She said she wanted to wait for it,” Poe defended himself. “To be honest, that’s part of the reason why I proposed so fast.”

 

“What?” Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

 

“I thought she would want to consummate our relationship when I proposed, but nothing. It’s a drought man, and I’m dying of thirst,” Poe moaned into his hands. 

 

Ben briefly thought that maybe Poe wasn’t as perfect as he thought he was if he resorted to proposing to try to sleep with Rey. But he also knew he still wasn’t as good as Poe, because the male pride inside of him roared in appreciation that the last man Rey had in her bed was him. 

 

“Stop smiling Ben, or I’ll punch you in the face,” Poe laughed.

 

Ben tried his hardest, but he couldn’t seem to wipe the smirk off his face for the rest of his night. 

 

\---

 

“So you’re telling me you slept with Ben the night  _ before  _ you met Poe,” Finn clarified, mouth agape as Rey told him the secret she kept from everyone.

 

“Yep,” Rey nodded, frowning into her glass of wine. 

 

“And the next day, he slipped out like any normal one night stand would do, but you ran into him at a coffee shop? And he just...introduced you to Poe instead?” 

 

Rey took a sip of her wine instead of answering.

 

Finn chewed on his bottom lip. “So when Ben said he would never forget the way you two met,” he trailed off.

 

“He said he didn’t mean it like that. He said he wouldn’t forget it because it led Poe and me together. But the only reason I stayed with Poe for so long was because, ugh.” She stopped, rubbing her eyes in frustration. 

 

“You wanted to be close to Ben. Oh, honey, you didn’t,” Finn whispered.

 

“It wasn’t like that at the beginning. I said yes to piss Ben off. I was angry at him for leaving. I was a stupid girl who thought this man who gave me the best sex of my life would want to, I don’t know, at least have breakfast together. But then I bloody got to know him, and the feelings only grew. I thought Poe was gonna break up with me when I didn’t put out. Instead, that blasted fool proposed.”

 

“Wait, you haven’t had sex with anyone since Ben? Was he really that good?” 

 

“Finn, sometimes I can still feel his body pressed against me. You haven’t seen him shirtless either. That man is blessed with abs of steel,” she whimpered, pressing her hands against her eyes, trying to push the image out of her mind. 

 

“But Poe proposed, and now you are engaged to one man, and you want to sleep with the best man?”

 

“What do I do?”

 

“Well first, I’m going pitch this to Netflix to get this made into a new show or movie.”

 

Rey shoved him off the couch. “You should really talk less.”

 

“And do what else? Smile more? I smile plenty,” he grinned, staring at Rey still on the couch. Her brows furrowed in thought. Finn took her worried stance in and let his grin fall.

 

“I just thought Ben felt something for me after that speech today,” she whispered.

 

“You mean the speech he gave in front of his best friend and family at your engagement party? That speech?”

 

“Yes,” she snapped.

 

“Just wanted to make sure you heard the words that were coming out of your mouth. Look even if Ben did have feelings for you, he isn’t going to act on them when you are engaged to his best friend. What did you think would happen?

 

“That’s the problem. I wasn’t thinking. I was impulsive and abrasive and got myself stuck in this situation just to hurt him. But it bit me in the arse because I fell for that sweet idiot.” Rey sighed, fiddling with the engagement ring on her left hand.

 

“You know what you have to do,” Finn told her, taking her left hand in his, squeezing it affectionately. 

 

“Yeah I know,” she whispered. “I’m gonna miss him.”

 

“Which one?”

 

Rey chose not to answer.

 

\---

 

Leia awoke the next morning, eager to put her plan in action.

 

“Trust me, Princess, this isn’t going to go the way you think. Ben is a stubborn ass, and Rey can do better than him and that smug Poe,” Han told her over their morning coffee.

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she stepped aside from his statement easily.

 

Han just rolled his eyes, knowing it was in his best interest to not try to pester her. She was as stubborn as he was, if not more. Once she set her mind to something, there was nothing that would stop her. 

 

“Now, Rey and I have plans to go shopping, so I’ll be gone for most of the day.”

 

“I thought you were getting lunch with Ben,” he raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“I am. What does that have anything to do with shopping with Rey?”

 

Han let out a loud chuckle that rumbled through his entire body. “You sly woman.”

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Call if you need anything,” Leia stood primly, depositing her mug in the sink. “Don’t forget to take your medicine. And don’t even think about trying to sneak in red meat while I’m out today. Chewie and Lando will sell you out in a heartbeat,” she kissed his cheek fondly before making her way out of the house.

 

“What’s the point of being alive if I can’t even get to enjoy the food I like?” he grumbled. A part of him felt for Rey. She was the daughter he’d always wanted, and he wanted what was best for her. Ben on the other hand...he was a pain in the ass to raise and that gave Leia all the right to meddle in his affairs. Han was just sad Rey had to be tangled in it too. If only those two dumb kids got their shit together and finally told each other how they felt.

 

\---

 

“Rey dear, how was the rest of your night? I don’t believe you said goodbye to me when you left.” Leia hugged Rey tightly, putting her arm through Rey’s as they walked into the store.

 

“It was fine. Finn came over and we had a sleepover. It was nice,” Rey smiled warmly at Leia.

 

“Are you sure everything is alright, dear?”

 

“Yes, why would it not be?”

 

“You look a bit pale, dear. Like you didn’t sleep well.” Leia pulled Rey to a stop and placed a tender hand on her cheek. 

 

Rey fought back the tears whenever Leia comforted her like a mother. She was going to miss her.

 

“Finn and I talked about...a difficult situation last night. That’s all. Nothing to worry about.” Rey promised.

 

Leia pursed her lips but didn’t pursue the matter any farther. She pushed Rey through the doors where they were instantly greeted by a saleswoman who was too perky for the early morning.

 

“Welcome Senator Organa, we have been expecting you. I’m Jessika, and I will be assisting you today. Is this the lucky woman then?” The saleswoman kissed Leia’s cheeks, then turning her attention on Rey. “My, you are a pretty thing aren’t you. Your facial structure is to die for. And those legs, I bet they go on for miles,” she smiled pleasantly.

 

“Um, thank you?” Rey answered, unsure what to make of this. “Leia, what exactly are we shopping for?”

 

“Why your wedding dress of course!”

 

Rey’s face paled as she glanced around. There were no wedding dresses on display, no bridal magazines anywhere, no blushing brides wanting to find the perfect dress for their perfect day.

 

“Don’t look like that Rey. I never had a daughter, and you know Ben. The day he finds someone he loves enough to get married I don’t think he would let me be there to pick out his suit.”

 

A stab of pain went through Rey’s heart at the mention of Ben marrying someone else. 

 

“It’s just, this doesn’t look like a wedding store,” Rey placated Leia.

 

“Of course not. It’s a private storefront I use when I don’t want to go to store after store. They have stores lend their inventory for a brief time so we can try on different items in peace. I know how you feel about crowds. And that blasted woman Mrs. Dameron would make it into a huge production if she took you. I insist you let me do this for you, my sweet Rey. You know Han and I love you like a daughter.” Leia squeezed her hand.

 

“You really don’t have to be mean to Mrs. Dameron on my account,” Rey tried to switch to a safer topic. Anything was safer than the topic of the wedding.

 

“Don’t be absurd. No one insults a Solo,” Leia glowered.

 

“But, I’m not a Solo,” Rey muttered.

 

“You are to me. Now let’s see what they have, shall we?” Leia smiled at her, pushing her further into the store. 

 

“Right this way, Miss,” the saleswoman led the two into a private room full of wedding dresses in different styles.

 

“Now what style were you thinking?”

 

“Um, I wasn’t, um –” Rey stuttered before Leia broke in.

 

“This is her first time trying on dresses, and she just got engaged this past week. I’m sure she has no idea what she wants. So we want to try them all.”

 

“Right away, Senator Organa.” 

 

Jessika began to pull dresses off the rack in different styles. Rey’s eyes widened as she took in the many details each dress had to offer.

 

“Leia, these dresses have to be worth a fortune,” Rey whispered, watching Jessika eye a dress that seemed to have Swarovski crystals sewn into the bodice. 

 

“What does that matter? Han and I are paying for it.”

 

Rey’s mouth dropped.

 

“Consider it a gift. Now I’m sure you’ll hate it, but I would love to see you in a ball gown, just once,” Leia pleaded, pulling Rey into the little alcove where she would be assisted in trying on dresses. “Jessika, bring us one of the Vera Wang ballgowns, please.”

 

Jessika dutifully brought a wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline and a bodice covered in tulle with a ruching design. The train seemed to fall in asymmetrical layers. 

 

Rey hated it.

 

“Leia, I can’t,” she begged.

 

“You can and you will,” she replied firmly. “Jessika, dress her.” Leia stepped out, and Jessika pounced on Rey, forcing her out of her shirt and jeans, shoving her lithe frame in a dress that seemed to swallow her.

 

“There, you look beautiful,” Jessika said with a final zip. “Now how about we show Senator Organa, hm?”

 

Jessika pushed Rey out in the dress, watching Leia’s eyes widen before they filled with tears.

 

“Oh no, don’t cry,” Rey lifted her skirts and rushed to her.

 

“Ignore me, please.” Leia pulled out a handkerchief from her beige purse and dabbed at her eyes. “It’s just, I’ve only known you for half a year, but it feels like I just realized how much you’ve grown. And I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. Plus, that dress really  _ is _ ugly, but you still look so beautiful,” she finished, sniffing primly.

 

“It really is, isn’t it?” Rey let out a watery chuckle.

 

“Look at us, crying like a bunch of old fools. Let’s try another one, huh?’ Leia grinned, doing her best to stop the tear from forming again.

 

Rey nodded and turned away, walking back to into the dressing alcove. 

 

“Maybe something with lace next?” Leia suggested.

 

She smiled as she heard Rey snort behind the curtain. 

 

\----

 

Ben stared at the front of the storefront in anger. His mother knew how much he hated it when he had to meet her at these stupid stores. Knowing her, this was all a trick just to get Ben to go shopping with her. A task he refused to do with her when she forced him to spend six agonizing hours picking out his prom tux. Ben still recalled that memory with a feeling of annoyance at how easily his father left him in his mother’s clutches.

 

He pulled out his phone and stared at the text his mother sent him earlier.

 

**Leia:** <Shopping is running late. Meet at the store, and we can go to lunch as soon as we are done. Love you>

 

He was too hungover for this. Poe and Hux had him out until the early hours of the morning, doing the very thing he wanted to avoid. Making him think of Rey. 

 

Ben strangled out a groan as he strode forward to the door, knocking loudly to get the attention of whatever poor salesperson had the misfortune of helping his mother.

 

He peered through the door, catching sight of a saleswoman walking briskly toward him. He unconsciously took a step back as she forcefully flung the door open. 

 

“Mr. Solo, your mother told us to expect you. If you can wait out here for just a moment until she is behind the curtain again, I’ll bring you to your mother,” she smiled complacently.

 

Ben frowned at her cheery tone and waved her away. He wasn’t here for a minute and already his mother forced him to wait in the entryway like he hadn’t accompanied her on shopping trips before.

 

His fingers itched to pull out his phone and text Rey instead. He selfishly wanted to force her to recall their conversation yesterday before Poe’s phone call interrupted them. He wanted to have the courage to tell her how he felt, damn the consequences. 

 

His thoughts constantly tangled and battled one another since Poe and Rey told them of their engagement. Selfishly tell her the truth and lose the two most important people in his life, or keep his pain to himself and turn into his grandfather, a man who grew dark and hateful when he lost the woman he loved. Ben raked a hand through his hair, knowing he was pretty close to being like his grandfather as it was. This would just be the icing on the wedding cake. 

 

“You can come back now, sir,” the saleswoman motioned for him to follow her. 

 

“You made it,” Leia stood from one of the chairs in the room, allowing her son to lower himself to hug her properly.

 

“I thought you were changing?” he asked.

 

“Oh no dear, not me. Rey and I are shopping together. I love our little girl’s day.”

 

Ben’s heart rate increased as he stared at the flimsy curtain separating the two rooms.

 

“Mother, what are you doing?” he hissed.

 

“Nothing! You know I love Rey. I just wanted to do a little mother-daughter bonding is all.”

 

Something wasn’t right. There was no way in hell Leia would let the conversation they had yesterday disappear into thin air. His mother was nothing if not a tactician. She was always three steps ahead of the competition, and most of the people around her didn’t even know they were in a game. She was a venerated woman who earned her General nickname.

 

Ben narrowed his eyes at his mother, but she still stood tall. No man would ever cause Leia Organa-Solo to cower. If anything it pushed her to stand straighter. 

 

“Leia?” Rey’s melodic voice called out from behind the curtain.

 

“Yes dear, is everything alright?” Leia called back.

 

“Can this please be the last dress? I’m starving,” Rey begged.

 

Ben fought back a smile. Nothing could stand in the way between Rey and her love for food. He could see the defenses crumble as Leia’s eyes softened at Rey’s pleading tone. 

 

_ Sure, listen to the woman who isn’t your blood-borne child.  _

 

“If you insist, dear. Are you decent to come out yet?” 

 

“She will be in just a second,” Jessika called out. 

 

Ben heard the rustling of fabric and the sounds of Rey huffing as the saleswoman stuffed her into another outfit. What kind of dress were they putting her in that it took this long to dress her?

 

“Alright, she’s ready!” Jessika stepped out, smiling as a strand of her brunette hair fell out of her bun.

 

Leia settled herself back on the chair as Ben continued to stand, leaning against the wall, expecting Rey to step out in a formal evening gown to attend some function with his mother, something she had done before.

 

Ben never once thought that  _ his _ Rey would be trying on a dress for a more serious occasion. Which was why he was unprepared when the saleswoman pushed the curtain aside to reveal Rey standing in a wedding dress. She nervously smoothed down the bodice, eyes lifting up to see what Leia thought of her choice. The minute she saw Ben, though, was when the nervous smile on her face changed into a full-fledged smile that rivaled the stars themselves as she saw him waiting for her on the other side. 


	6. Non-Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looked back to Rey, startled to find her face pale and withdrawn.
> 
> “Rey, what’s wrong?”
> 
> “I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered.
> 
> “Do what?” she softly asked.
> 
> Rey just shook her head vehemently, refusing to answer as she squeezed her eyes shut, tears trailing down her cheeks.
> 
> “Let’s get you out of this dress. The only reason a woman should cry in a wedding dress is from happiness, okay? And then we can talk about whatever is bothering you. I’ll help you,” she promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my Beta, who listens to me rant all the time. Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)
> 
> Thanks for everyone in the den and sprints too. Y'all make me feel so loved!

Ben felt the air rush out of his lungs as he took just how beautiful and breathtaking Rey was in the dress. He vaguely thought it was nothing he would ever put his little survivor in, but the illusion lace sleeves that trailed down the entirety of her arms made her look softer, more ethereal looking. Despite the modesty of the sleeves, the dress had a seductive v-cut which stopped just below her breasts — breasts he still dreamed of kissing. The deep cut displayed her prominent clavicle and he felt the urge to trail his tongue along the ridges. The rest of the dress gently hugged her curves, flowing into a serene train with a lace scalloped edge that swept behind her dramatically.

 

“Oh Rey, you look beautiful,” Leia breathed out.

 

Rey continued to stare at Ben, looking at him eagerly to discern what his thoughts were, stepping out of the dressing alcove to stand closer to him.

 

“Ben, tell Rey what you think,” Leia prompted, a confident glint in her eye as she took in her awestruck son.

 

Check. Mate.

 

Ben didn’t have the willpower to be angry at his mother with the sight of Rey looking like every wish he wanted coming true in front of him. If anything, he wanted to promise to be home for every single holiday and birthday for the rest of his life to thank his mother for this scheme.

 

“You look, just, breathtaking,” he finally uttered, his words coming out heavy as he finally took a breath. Ben was sure this was the first breath he’d taken after he caught sight of her.

 

“Thank you,” she smiled demurely, looking down at the gown that covered her legs.

 

“Are you the groom?” Jessika asked politely.

 

Leia smiled as she took in the blushes that overtook both Ben and Rey’s faces.

 

“Oh, um, no, I mean, that is –,” Ben stammered as he took in Rey, unable to decipher the look on her face. Was it embarrassment? Lust? Hope?

 

“Do you have a suit jacket that Ben could wear? I just need to see the dress in full effect,” Leia proclaimed. She walked to Rey with a proud look on her face, gently fanning out the train behind her.

 

“Mom, please, that’s not necessary,” Ben murmured, hoping Rey couldn’t see how red his ears were. He couldn’t be standing close to her in that dress. It was too easy to pretend she was standing there in that _kriffing_ dress for him. To marry him. Ben felt like someone punched him in the stomach as his hated friend reality set in, reminding him just why she was standing there.

 

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

 

“So, Rey, what do you think?” Leia asked, eyeing her thoughtfully.

 

“I don’t know, it’s not really...me,” Rey answered truthfully.

 

“Well, what dress did you imagine?”

 

“I didn’t,” she answered quietly. “I never thought I would get married. If I ever did, I would’ve liked to elope with the guy I loved,” she continued, meeting Ben’s eye.

 

“You will elope over my dead body,” Leia threatened.

 

“Mom, leave her alone,” Ben stepped in.

 

“Hush, that goes for you as well. You two will kill me and your father if you both decide to elope,” Leia stood firm.

 

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Rey and Ben both thought that Leia made it sound like _they_ were the couple getting married.

 

“Here we go!” Jessika squealed, striding forward with a black tuxedo jacket. Ben dutifully stood still as he felt the saleswoman squeeze his arms in the jacket. “Hmm, seems a bit tight. You are quite ...broad,” she complimented.

 

Rey watched Jessika’s hands linger on Ben’s shoulders and she fought the urge to stamp over and demand she take her pretty little manicured hands off of him before she broke them.

 

“Ben, can you come here please?” she asked sweetly instead.

 

Ben walked slowly to her. His legs felt like lead, struggling through the marshland of his desire, he felt his despair surround him like vines. He struggled to maintain all normal bodily functions with every step.

 

He knew he lost her, hell maybe he never even had her, but those steps that he took toward her allowed him to pretend he was in an alternate reality where he wasn’t a coward and they had stayed together. His hand reached out unconsciously, his heart singing a sweet and solemn tone as her hand reached for his slowly, clasping and intertwining as one unit.

 

They stood together taking in each other’s presence, both reveling in it, both unknowing how the other felt.

 

Rey smiled proudly up at him, looking at him in the plain jacket Jessika put him in. She knew without a doubt she was happiest whenever Ben was by her side, and she would gladly do whatever it took to _stay_ by his side. Even if her soul ached at the thought that Ben would never love her the way she wanted, she would gladly suffer a million deaths if it meant she could keep him like this for just one moment.

 

Ben’s eyes lowered as he took in her dilated pupils, parted lips, and the unsteady rise and fall of her breasts that hinted she was breathing irregularly. He bit his bottom lip as the look she gave him brought back the memories he desperately wanted to keep hidden away.

 

He lowered his head, lips brushing the shell of her ear as he whispered, “You really do look beautiful.”

 

He was pleased to feel her shudder underneath his voice.

 

“Thanks,” her voice coming out in a gasp.

 

“You two look absolutely perfect together,” Leia spoke, breaking the spell of love and lust they were cast under.

 

Ben took a step back from her in an instant, guilt crashing over him. Fuck. What was he doing? She was _engaged_ to someone else. There was nothing of her left for him.

 

“I’m going to go call the restaurant and make sure our reservations are still safe.” His face was guarded as he shrugged off the jacket and tossed it on the chair. His legs carried him out of the room in a few strides. It took every ounce of strength not to look back at the vision of Rey in white. It hurt him to know the next time he would see her like this was when she was going to say her vows to Poe.

 

“I swear that boy has no manners. He is Han through and through, no matter how much he denies it.” Leia glared at the retreating form of her son. “Well, how about we get some lunch, hm?”

 

She looked back to Rey, startled to find her face pale and withdrawn.

 

“Rey, what’s wrong?”

 

“I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered.

 

“Do what?” she softly asked.

 

Rey just shook her head vehemently, refusing to answer as she squeezed her eyes shut, tears trailing down her cheeks.

 

“Let’s get you out of this dress. The only reason a woman should cry in a wedding dress is from happiness, okay? And then we can talk about whatever is bothering you. I’ll help you,” she promised.

 

“No, you’ll hate me. Everyone is going to hate me,” Rey whimpered.

 

“Do you want me to get Ben?”

 

She shook her head again.

 

Leia pursed her lips, her heart hurting to see Rey in so much anguish. With a swift movement, she swept Rey in a motherly embrace, silently letting her know she was there for her.

 

Rey breathed in the scent of Leia, letting the smell help calm her down. It’s been too long since she felt a mother’s love. She forgot how much she ached for it, the feeling of unconditional love. Rey felt her tears slow as she squeezed Leia tighter.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Leia murmured in her hair

 

“I don’t know if I can,” she answered.

 

“What are you scared of?”

 

“They are going to leave me, and I’ll be alone again,” she whispered, her voice shaking from the truth.

 

“Rey, look at me,” Leia said firmly, forcing Rey’s head to look in her eyes, “There is nothing you can do or say that will make me leave you. Same for Han. Same for Ben. I know for a fact he would never leave you. That boy loves you so much.”

 

At the mention of Ben’s name, fresh tears sprung in Rey’s eyes. Leia stared inquisitively at Rey.

 

“Is this about Ben?”

 

Rey nodded slowly.

 

“Did something happen?”

 

Rey shook her head.

 

“I can’t help if you don’t talk to me,” Leia continued.

 

“It’s not help, not really. I know what I have to do. I’m just scared. What if I do the wrong thing?”

 

“You have a good heart. You have to have hope that everything will be for the best. If you only have hope when the sun is out, then what is the point? Now, clean yourself up. Ben is waiting for us.” Leia wiped the leftover tears from Rey’s eyes.

 

“Thanks, Leia,” she muttered. Her face went through a battle of emotions before setting into a resolved face. “Leia?”

 

“Yes,” she encouraged Rey to continue.

 

“I don’t want a wedding dress. Not today at least,” she said firmly.

 

Leia’s answering smile helped Rey know she was making the right choice.

 

\---

 

Ben watched as Rey stole another fry from his plate.

 

“Why do you always do this?” he asked, staring as she happily threw the entire fry in her mouth.

 

“Because you let me,” she shrugged, reaching her hand over their plates, aiming for another fry.

 

Ben pulled his plate to him in a possessive motion, glowering at her. Her eyes widened for a moment before narrowing her eyes at him.

 

“I refuse to let this continue,” he declared.

 

“Ben, don’t be stupid. Put the plate down, you know you’re gonna give me what I want. You always do,” she smiled prettily at him, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

 

“You are the worst,” he slumped in his chair, shoving his plate toward her. She was right, of course. Not that he would ever tell her that. It was a secret he held close to his heart that he always ordered an extra side whenever he ate with Rey. The way her eyes lit up whenever she stole his food was worth it.

 

Leia smiled over the cup of coffee she had after her lunch, watching the two interact.

 

“So, did you find a dress?” Ben tentatively asked.

 

“Ben, a woman has to have her secrets,” Leia admonished, a motherly urge making her want to protect Rey from the feelings she experienced not an hour ago.

 

“It’s fine, Leia. No I didn’t,” Rey answered, pulling Ben’s plate closer to her.

 

“What was wrong with the one you were in? You looked beautiful,” Ben asked, puzzled. Wasn’t that what a woman wants to look like in her dress?

 

“Ben, let’s not talk of weddings right now. Leia, can we get dessert?” Rey plucked the dessert menu from the middle of the table, eyes skimming the contents.

 

“Your stomach is a black hole,” Ben deadpanned.

 

“You love it,” she muttered offhandedly. “The chocolate cake sounds divine. Shall I get three for the table?”

 

“Oh, none for me.”

 

“Two then?”

 

“Why don’t you and Ben split one then? I highly doubt he has a very large sweet touch.”

 

“Yes, my taste is bitter as is my soul, Mother. But to share dessert with Rey? You would have to want a death wish.”

 

“You know you’re one of my best friends, right?”

 

Ben blinked at Rey, unsure of the compliment that she was paying him. This was nothing like their usual banter. They poked and prodded at one another, knowing beneath the stabs of their words was an undercurrent of profound love.

 

“Yes, I know that.”

 

“And I love you, very much.”

 

“What’s going on? Are you about to kill me?”

 

“That’s the worst response I ever heard. Why don’t Solo men know how to respond properly when a beautiful woman tells them they love them?” Leia interrupted.

 

“Mom,” Ben groaned.

 

“I’m not plotting anything. Believe me, if I was, you wouldn’t know until it hit you. I just...don’t say it enough.” Rey shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Yeah, well, I love you too,” Ben rumbled out, feeling a pang of happiness that hurt so beautifully at saying the words out loud.

Rey smiled that special smile she saved just for him, and Ben’s heart skipped a beat.

 

The sound of her ringtone going off broke the moment between them. Rey dug in her small purse, pulling out her phone and looking at the name, then looking at the two people on the table. Was this a setup?

 

Ben looked like he had no idea what was going on, glowering at his plate as he usually did during mealtimes with either of his parents. Leia on the other hand… she avoided Rey’s firm gaze with a determined look on her face.

 

“Hello?”

 

“ _Hey kid, how you doing?”_ Han’s voice filled the receiving end of her phone.

 

“I’m fine, just at lunch with your family,” Rey answered before continuing, “Um, did you want to talk to them?”

 

Han let out a bark of laughter. _“Kid, if I wanted to talk to them, I’d call them myself. Nah, this is shop talk. Someone is trying to buy my business.”_

 

“Really, who?” Rey’s interest piqued.

 

_“I don’t know — some big shot in Japan. That’s not why I’m calling you. Well, it is, but there is something else along with it. I need you to go to these meetings for me.”_

 

Rey looked at Ben and Leia, who were both staring at her with some interest. She made a motion letting them know she was going to be stepping out of the restaurant to finish the call.

 

“Why me? Can’t you go yourself?”

 

“ _Leia has been watching me like a hawk since that mild issue happened a month ago. There is no way she would let me go to an international meeting that is sure to last a couple of weeks, at least.”_

 

“Han, a heart attack is not a mild issue. We almost lost you,” Rey scolded.

 

_“It’s my body and I’ll talk about it as I see fit. Now, you and Chewie would go in my place. Obviously the company is gonna pay for it. You just have to go listen to them, play hardball, and then turn them down.”_

 

“Wait, you aren’t even going to hear what they have to offer?”

 

_“Why should I? This Solo ain’t a sellout. So what do you say, kid? You in?”_

 

The instant Rey heard his words, she knew what she wanted to do. This life that she was living right now would never be enough for her. She would never be satisfied.

 

“I’m in. When do we leave?”

 

_“Stop by for dinner tonight, and we can go over the details. Sound good?”_

 

“Let’s go,” Rey smiled into the phone.

 

\---

 

“Rey,” Poe tried, watching her walk around her apartment, grabbing her suitcase set from her closet.

 

She ignored him, anger radiating off of her as she pushed him out of her way.

 

“Rey,” he tried again.

 

“What?” she snapped.

 

“Do you have to do this? We just got engaged, you have a wedding to plan, and now you are going to go on a business trip, that could last more than two weeks? And what, all for a job?”

 

“This isn’t just a job for me, Poe. This is my career. I thought you would support me,” Rey huffed, crossing her arms.

 

“You are always choosing your job over me. I deserve a bit of your time, too. I shouldn’t have to beg my fiance to stay with me.”

 

Rey bit her lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of admitting he was right. When it came down to it, she would pick her career over Poe — she had done it before, many times.

 

“I have to go,” she said instead, leaning down and unzipping her suitcase, ready to throw her clothes in.

 

“Look around Rey, I’m not even a part of your life!” he thundered. “You don’t even let me keep my stuff here.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

“It has to do with everything. I feel like I’m just a placeholder until the guy you want comes around, and that’s not fair.”

 

“You know what’s not fair, Poe? Letting your mother speak to me, and about me, in any way she sees fit. That’s not fair. I put up with it, for you,” Rey said, doing her best to deflect the accusation Poe threw at her.

 

“Bullshit, you don’t put up with it. The minute you could, you went and tattled to Leia. Now my mom is doing her best to get back in Leia’s good graces, and she won’t even give her the time of day. They have been friends almost as long as Ben and I have.”

 

“I didn’t say a word to Leia,” she said shocked.

 

“Right, you want me to believe that?”

 

“I may be many things Poe, but I’m not a liar,” Rey said coolly, flipping through her closet and pulling out a few blouses.

 

Poe took a calming breath, clenching his fist as he tried to release the anger. He sat down on the edge of her bed, watching her throw different types of shoes next to her suitcase.

 

“Rey, look at me,” he continued, his voice tired from the argument.

 

Rey turned around, her jaw set as she took in Poe’s face. She couldn’t do this anymore.

 

“Look around Poe. Everything in this apartment is mine. I earned this. This is a huge step for me. Do you know what I did to get here?”

 

“I know, you were very lucky to get this far.” Poe fought the urge to roll his eyes.

 

“You know what’s lucky? That I’m even alive right now. I could have just been another kid lost in the system, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t luck. It was because of me, and the strength that I had inside of me. I used to think I was nothing. Just some poor little orphan with no family. I made my own way, just like I made my own family,” Rey retorted.

 

“I’m helpless right now, Rey. I want to be enough for you. I want _us_ to be enough for you,” he pleaded.

 

“It’s not that easy for me. Han picked me to help him lead. Over everyone else in the company, he picked me. I’ve been there for less than a year. I have to do this.”

 

“Oh because Han says jump, you say how high?”

 

“Don’t talk about him like that,” she stared at him with her eyes narrowed.

 

“He isn’t your father.”

 

“Stop it,” Rey whispered.

 

“Han and Leia aren’t your parents. The Solos aren’t your family. You gotta realize that.”

 

“Maybe not by blood. And even if they aren’t, I have other people, like Finn.” She tried to still her racing heart, not wanting to let her insecurities creep upon her again. Not after what her and Leia went through yesterday as she tried on wedding dresses.

 

“But not me?” Poe asked quietly. “Why isn’t this enough?”

 

“I’m sorry, Poe. I’m so sorry. You deserve someone who will put you first. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who would throw away their shot.” The words left her before she could think of their implications.

 

Poe looked up at her with sad eyes. “So this is it, huh?” he asked, before looking back to the ground.

 

Rey blinked rapidly to destroy the tears that were rapidly forming, her heart knowing it wasn’t just the loss of Poe she was fixing to mourn. With shaking hands, her hand slid off the platinum band with the solitaire diamond in the center off of her hand.

 

She walked to Poe with slow steps, sitting next to him. The bed dipped under her weight, and his face looked up to meet hers. Rey grabbed the hand closest to her, placing the ring in his hands before he folded his fingers into a fist.

 

“I love you Poe, but –” she stopped trying to think of the best way to say what she wanted.

 

“I get it, Rey. A part of me always knew. I just thought if I tried hard enough, we could make it work.”

 

“Is that why you proposed so fast?” she joked, trying to lighten the sadness filling the room.

 

“So you love me, but you’re not _in_ love with me, right?” Poe avoided the question.

 

Rey didn’t answer, just looked at her suitcase.

 

“I’ll always love you, but not in the way you deserve,” she uttered after a moment.

 

Poe pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I wish you the best, Rey. I really do.”

 

The mattress moved as he stood. With one last look, he made his way out of her apartment, this chapter of their relationship closing.

 

\----

 

Ben was shocked to hear someone pounding at his door this late on a Sunday night. He jumped out of bed, grabbing the shirt he threw off before and walking to the door while pulling it over his broad shoulders.

 

He stood to his full height, fully intending to scare off who was on the other side of his door.

 

“What do you want?” he growled, his anger dissipating the minute he took in Poe standing there.

 

Poe didn’t say anything, just tossed him a glittering object before forcing himself in. Ben’s hand instinctively caught whatever Poe threw at him. His hand opened, and he stared at the object sitting in the middle of his palm. Rey’s ring sat there, taunting him and calling to the dark and selfish side of his soul like it belonged to Sauron himself.

 

“Where’s the good whiskey? The one Han insists you buy for him?”

 

Ben turned around, disbelief still clouding his senses. He took in Poe’s disheveled appearance, the way his eyes seemed a bit bloodshot, the way his clothes smelled of stale bar. Instead of answering, Ben walked to the kitchen, opening the cupboard above his fridge and pulling down the wanted bottle.

 

Silently, Poe grabbed two whiskey glasses from the cabinet and set them on the counter, waiting for Ben to fill them up. The sound of glass clinking filled the silent room as he poured the contents of the bottle in their respected cups. Ben turned around, meaning to put up the bottle, before Poe stopped him.

 

“Leave it out,” he ordered.

 

Ben bit his tongue, knowing it was best not to argue with Poe right now. He sat next to him instead, sliding his glass to him, clapping a hand on his shoulder in solidarity, as they took their first sips.

 

In only a few moments, Poe finished his drink, and reached for the whiskey bottle, ready to refill his glass.

 

“Want to talk about it?” Ben finally asked, watching Poe nurse his third glass.

 

“Nope,” Poe answered, his slurred words still emphasizing the ‘p’ sound on the word.

 

“You okay?”

 

“I will be.”

 

Hours passed in silence as they sat next to each other, letting each other’s presence help soothe one another, unaware that both men lost the same women they loved that day.

 

“I don’t think she ever really _loved_ me, you know? I know she loved me, but like the way she loves Finn, or you. But was I her one and only, her forever? Nah, that wasn’t me. It’s some other lucky bastard,” Poe slurred, his head slumped over Ben’s counter. Streaks of the now rising sun began to fill the house.

 

“You don’t know that –,” Ben began.

 

“I do. My mom saw it. That’s why she didn’t like her. She knew. Mom’s always know. She pulled me aside the first time she met her, and she said ‘Mijo, that woman’s heart belongs to another. Be careful with that one, love. She will do what it takes to survive, and she will never be satisfied.’ But I ignored her,” he explained.

 

Ben didn’t say anything, just sipped more of the whiskey.

 

“I don’t hate her. I could never hate her. I want her to be happy,” Poe continued.

 

“You really are a perfect man Poe,” Ben laughed.

 

The two sat in silence, watching the sun rise over the neighborhood.

 

“Maybe this means I never loved her like that either,” Poe mumbled, letting the alcohol pull him under.

 

Ben stared at him, watching his best friend going through what was supposed to be one of the most painful breaks he should go through, and here he was saying he didn’t hate Rey. Poe just wanted her to be happy. He wondered again what exactly happened between them for them to call off their engagement.

 

With a sigh, Ben grabbed Poe’s phone and unlocked it, sending a text to Kaydel that Poe wouldn’t make it into work and to let Amilyn know. He stared at the background of Rey on his phone. He knew he shouldn’t change it. It was Poe’s right of passage, but he couldn’t bear to see Rey’s face on the phone of a man to whom she didn’t belong with anymore. With a few clicks, Poe’s dog graced the wallpaper, and he placed it back on the counter.

 

Although his best friend sat there passed out drunk, it wasn’t lost on Ben that Poe went to him in his hour of need. He couldn’t stop the feelings of guilt that swamped him as he realized he just wanted to go to Rey and make sure she was okay.


	7. Wait For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey!”
> 
> Her entire body seemed to exhale at the sound of his voice. His sweet deep voice covered her body in a loving caress and she felt all the tension leave her figure. 
> 
> Her smile widened at the sight of his hulking figure over the countless people waiting for loved ones. His brown eyes met hers in an instant and Rey wondered how they were always so captivating. Every time she saw him she was astounded by just how much space he took. The crowd parted for him unconsciously as he strode towards her, his black suitcase rolling behind him. 
> 
> She met him halfway, her legs running on their own accord, eager to be reunited with the one person she missed most in the world. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she felt his strong arms wrap around her in return. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Warm. Safe. Home._
> 
>  
> 
> The thoughts crossed and left her mind in an instant. She smiled into his shoulder, not realizing just how much she missed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to my amazing beta for reading this over. She is the best and I love her. Here's to hoping we survive GoT and Endgame babe <3

It'd been a week. One whole agonizing, slow, painful week. Poe was handling it pretty well if Ben was being honest. They didn't live together, so there was nothing to divide. She never kept anything at his apartment, so there was nothing they had to awkwardly exchange while their friends played referee. She already gave him back the ring. The relationship slaughtered in a clean and neat motion.

 

It wasn't the break up that caused Ben to go crazy. It was the silence. The void between himself and Rey seemed to extend inch by inch with every moment that passed. He tried to contact her. He told himself it was to check on her, ensuring she was safe and happy with her decision. She never responded.

 

Poe didn't hear from her, and he was peachy keen with it. It drove Ben slowly mad, the wondering and waiting to just hear her name pass the lips of his friends and parents in passing. How could he just let her go without a fight? Poe just let her walk out without a care in the world. He knew he was being irrational and their relationship was between them. His imagination fueled with fantasies and scenarios of what caused their relationship to end, each more ridiculous than the last.

 

He wanted to reach out to Finn. He wanted to beg his mother for information. Just for some news on what was going on with her.

 

The only thing his dad told him was she was going overseas for work. He didn't know when and he didn't know how long. He was left alone to deal with her disappearing from his life. Ben was doing a worse job of handling it than Poe was.

 

“Ben, what's wrong? You haven't touched anything on your plate,” Leia prodded as they sat at the dining table.

 

“Nothing, just worried is all,” he answered truthfully.

 

“Is it Poe? He still pining over Rey?” Han asked, his rough voice disrupting the serene atmosphere.

 

“No, he is actually handling it much better than I thought he would,” Ben answered truthfully.

 

“Well no shit, it's not like they actually loved each other,” he replied, reaching for his water.

 

“Oh shut it, Dad. You don't know that,” Ben argued.

 

Han let out a mirthless laugh. “I know him, and I know her. And I know together, they weren't in love. Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints, Ben. It takes and it takes. The thing with Poe and Rey? That was Rey just… being Rey.”

 

“And what does that mean?” Ben asked quietly, his tone nearing a dangerous line.

 

Leia waved a hand in between them, doing her best to dissipate the tension that seemed to emanate from Ben whenever someone tried to speak badly of Rey.

 

“It means you are an idiot,” Han said honestly.

 

Leia sighed and grabbed her wine glass, chugging it before pouring another from the bottle she kept on hand whenever she had dinner with her husband and son.

 

“You don't know two shits about anything,” Ben gritted out.

 

“I know you're an idiot,” Han countered.

 

“Oh great comeback,” he snarled.

 

“So Rey is leaving on Tuesday right?” Leia interjected.

 

“Wait, she hasn't left yet?” Ben asked, confused.

 

“Nah, the meeting got pushed back a week. She and Chewie are heading out this week,” Han grumbled, sticking his fork in the unseasoned mashed potatoes with a look of disgust.

 

“Haven't you spoken to Rey, Ben?” Leia asked, eyebrows raised.

 

Ben looked down at his plate, chewing on his bottom lip. “She hasn't responded to my texts.”

 

Han and Leia shared a look, speaking a silent conversation that old couples seemed to master.

 

“You know son, your mom brought something up that we wanted to talk to you about.” Han broached the subject carefully.

 

Ben's eyes darted back and forth between his parents. A wary gaze settled on his features. Nothing good ever came out of his parents plotting together.

 

“I'm not getting any younger, kid. Your mom thinks it's best if I step back a bit on the company. I was wondering if you wanted to step in and start learning how to run things?”

 

“You want me to run Millenium Falcon?” Ben's jaw dropped as what his father asked of him sank in.

 

“Well. More like co-run. I know you never got into the mechanics like I wanted. But you’re smart and got a good head on your shoulders. I figured you could run the business side.”

 

“I can't just leave my job. I built my career there,” Ben began to argue.

 

“And I built my legacy on this company.”

 

“You built your legacy on your racing. Your company would be nothing without that.”

 

“Benjamin,” Leia interrupted her son. Her tone was laced with warning.

 

“If you don't want it, that's fine, but it's yours if you do,” Han continued as if they weren't just arguing about his son's life.

 

“Who would I be running it with?”

 

“Rey. If you don't want it, it's going to her. Chewie agreed as well.”

 

“You're gonna give your company to Rey. Your entire company to a girl you've personally known less than a year.”

 

“She's a bright girl, and the kid is family. I want it to stay in the family. Who better to run it than my fave boy and gal?”

 

Running a company with Rey? It was certainly a future he never thought of. A future built on the legacy of their work, together.

 

“We know it's a big decision, Ben,” Leia stated softly, “but maybe seeing what you would be responsible for would help? Would you be willing to take a vacation from work and go to the meeting with Rey and Chewie?”

 

“You want me to go tell the guy who wants your company to fuck off?”

 

Han let out a hearty laugh. “Couldn't have said it better myself.”

 

“I only have to be there a week?” Ben asked.

 

“At most, two. Talk to your job and you can fly out on your own schedule,” Leia promised.

 

Ben glanced at his father, for once noticing how small he looked. Wrinkles now intermingled with the battle scars on his face. Silver hair had replaced the chestnut locks. All children liked to think their parents were immune to time. Yet here they sat, proof that none escaped its clutches. It was only a matter of time.

 

“Sure, Dad. I can go for a week.” Ben gave them a half-hearted smile, looking back at his plate to hide his eyes that were misting over.

 

He missed the winning look his politician mother gave his conman of a father.

 

\----

 

Rey waited patiently at the arrival gate in the international airport, checking Ben's flight status for the fifth time in just as many minutes. She felt nerves excite her body, neurons flaring like a roaring fire as every sensation on her skin increased tenfold. She fidgeted with her phone, twirling it between her deft fingers as she scanned the gate for signs of the man she eagerly awaited.

 

“Rey!”

 

Her entire body seemed to exhale at the sound of his voice. His sweet deep voice covered her body in a loving caress and she felt all the tension leave her figure.

 

Her smile widened at the sight of his hulking figure over the countless people waiting for loved ones. His brown eyes met hers in an instant and Rey wondered how they were always so captivating. Every time she saw him she was astounded by just how much space he took. The crowd parted for him unconsciously as he strode towards her, his black suitcase rolling behind him.

 

She met him halfway, her legs running on their own accord, eager to be reunited with the one person she missed most in the world. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she felt his strong arms wrap around her in return.

 

_Warm. Safe. Home._

 

The thoughts crossed and left her mind in an instant. She smiled into his shoulder, not realizing just how much she _missed_ him.

 

“I thought you were gonna tell Han to shove it when he suggested this,” her voice muffled as she talked into his shoulder. Neither were eager to part just yet.

 

“Nah, figured I'd bless the old man with my amazing skills,” Ben joked.

 

“Come on, Chewie is waiting with the car.” She patted him on his back, signaling for him to let her down.

 

They both parted reluctantly. They both thought the other didn't want to be touched by them. Despite their insecure thoughts, Rey and Ben walked closely together, arms brushing against one another, sending jolts of electricity to the owner.

 

“How have you been?" Ben asked quietly as they exited the terminal.

 

“I don't wanna talk about that right now. Come on, we have work to do.” Rey quickly and effectively shut him down. She didn't want to ruin this moment with Poe's presence. This was the first time she was with Ben since she’d become single again. Poe's presence didn't deserve to be there, tainting the sweet relief Rey got at being with Ben one last time. She didn't think she would see him again after breaking things off with Poe. She was so certain he would take Poe's side and leave her. Just like everyone else did. This trip was a second chance at what they could have. She didn't want to ruin it.

 

She grabbed his hand in hers and led the way out.

 

Ben looked down at their clasped hands and watched in utter amazement how this strong woman just takes and takes without a worry in the world. He knew that if there was a reason that he was still allowed to be by her side, even if this was all some sort of scheme by his parents, he was willing to wait for it.

 

\------

 

“Soooo that went well,” Ben remarked in the hotel bar after the meeting they had to endure.

 

Rey chose to ignore him, drinking more of her whiskey and coke.

 

“Who wants to tell Han about this, you or me?” he continued. He looked at Rey and saw she wasn’t going to answer. “I mean, I knew Chewie was strong. I just didn’t think he was so strong he could break a conference table in half.”

 

“They shouldn’t have called him an uncivilized giant who couldn’t pronounce words,” Rey finally answered.

 

“No arguments here. To be fair, he does sound like he a grizzly bear at times. I’m surprised you understand him. It took me my whole life to understand him.”

 

Rey signaled the bartender for another one. “You want another one, too?” she asked, glancing down at his watered down old fashioned.

 

Ben looked between their glasses and was instantly transported back to that night long ago, so similar and yet so different. He didn’t want that night to go like that last one. If he was blessed with a fresh start with her, he wouldn’t mess it up. He’d be patient.

 

“I’m good,” he answered.

 

“I think it’s best if you and me go to the meetings from now on,” Rey continued, oblivious to the tumultuous thoughts going through Ben’s brain.

 

“I think you’re right,” he answered, watching her sip from her drink with those lips that haunted his waking thoughts.

 

“Let’s get this over with,” she muttered out.

 

“What?”

 

“I know you want to talk about him, and it’s best we get this over with now. I’m not gonna have you flip out for some unknown reason and leave me hanging.”

 

“How come you never texted me back?” he asked her, bypassing the Poe topic altogether.

 

Rey blinked rapidly. “I thought that was obvious,” she answered, not wanting to let her heart stray to hopeful thoughts between her and Ben.

 

“Apparently not if I have to ask you about this,” he retorted.

 

“Poe and I are done. He is your best friend,” she supplied.

 

“And you thought I would leave you behind,” he finished for her.

 

Rey chose not to answer. Her eyes were focused on the screen playing some show she’d never heard of in a language she didn’t understand.

 

“Rey, come on. I wouldn’t do that to you. You’re one of my best friends. Just because you ended things with Poe doesn’t mean I go away,” he quietly answered.

 

“He wanted me to stay behind and plan the wedding. Does that sound like me?” she asked him.

 

Ben remained silent, knowing this was a rare thing for Rey to talk about her feelings without being needled.

 

“I’m not the person he deserves. I’m too career-driven, too focused on proving myself and my worth. I’m not gonna throw away my shot just because he wants me to stay behind for some wedding planning activities. We weren’t perfect for each other. I always knew that, but it was time I stopped tricking myself into thinking we were.”

 

To say Ben was shaken at hearing her revelations about her feelings was an understatement. He hated himself for only seeing the goal of Rey belonging to the best man he knew that he didn’t even see what Rey wanted. She wasn’t happy with Poe, but she stayed with him for so long because…why did she stay so long?

 

“If you knew he wasn’t the one for you, then why did you stay so long?” Ben asked, needing to know the answer.

 

Rey chewed on her lip, contemplating how best to answer. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Ben was certain Rey wasn’t going to answer. He wouldn’t push her. Not like how he pushed himself into believing Poe and Rey were perfect for one another.

 

His hand tightened around his drink unconsciously as he took in the memories of their relationship. How many dates and events did Poe drag Rey to that she hated? She did so much to keep Poe happy, and she didn’t even love him in that way. What was she proving? What was she doing keeping herself in that situation? Ben wasn’t sure if he could ever understand, but dammit, he would make sure Rey would never go through that again.

 

Poe could keep whatever memories he had of her, but Ben knew after this moment, Rey would be his to watch out for. It didn’t matter if she didn’t want him back, he would always be there for her. This time he would wait for her and listen to what she thought was best. He would be there to support her, no matter what.

 

Rey’s voice broke the train of thoughts he was currently riding, bringing himself back to the present.

 

“I stayed because he brought me a family. Without him, I was back to being an orphan girl just trying to make her way in a world without anyone else. But with him, it felt like I was somebody worth wanting. I made friends with Hux. We used to go out for tea once every couple of weeks. I got to know Han and Leia as people, not just my boss and his wife.”

 

“They won’t go away just because you and Poe ended things. My parents love you. I’m pretty sure they wished you were their kid instead of me sometimes. And Hux, you should have heard the way he stood up for you when he brought up how Mrs. Dameron treated you at the engagement party. Not to mention, Finn. You two are attached at the hip. He will always be by your side,” Ben argued, hating that Rey felt this way.

 

“Without Poe, I would have lost you,” she cut him off quietly.

 

Ben opened his mouth, trying to get words out but he failed miserably. Instead, he did what he did best, bypass the situation and let whatever words come out of his mouth like vomit. The success rate on this tactic was small, but it was the only chance he had.

 

“You’re not alone.” The words fell from his mouth in a reverent whisper. His eyes met hers as he took in her vulnerable state.

 

“Neither are you,” she whispered back.

 

Based on the small smile she was giving him, he knew he said the right thing.

 

\----

 

The week passed by swiftly, Ben sitting quietly in the meetings, supporting Rey whenever given the chance. He was proud to see she could hold her own in the boardroom, not giving anyone a chance to suppress her voice. If he decided to not take the spot at the company, he knew it would be left in good hands under Rey. She faced an uphill climb since she entered the room, only seen as a woman in a position of power that she didn’t deserve by those interested in purchasing the company.

 

They didn’t know what Ben knew. She fought for everything she had. She had everything to prove, and she refused to step aside and let someone else take it from her. Watching her in her element, speaking eloquently and confidently, tearing apart each question the offense threw at her was like watching art being created. Rey assumed she was the smartest in the room and refused to hear otherwise.

 

The night before he was supposed to leave and head back to the states, he found himself pacing outside Rey’s hotel room. Ben ran his hands through his hair, wondering if what he was about to do was the best decision for them, but he couldn’t sit aside anymore. Not when she was right there. He lost her once, and he refused to lose her again.

 

The sound of the door clicking open caused him to jump as if he was doing something guilty. He stood frozen as he saw Rey standing there in an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts that seemed to do nothing in keeping her covered.

 

“Ben?”

 

“Rey, hi!” he squeaked out.

 

“I thought I heard someone out here. Was it just you?” she asked, an amused smile on her face as she crossed her arms.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he began to apologize, not knowing how to explain his presence.

 

“Wanna come in?” she asked, stepping aside and giving him an out to the awkward predicament he found himself in.

 

Ben entered the room wordlessly, taking in the disarray of notes on the hotel desk. “How do you write like this?”

 

“Like what?” she asked, allowing the door to shut behind her.

 

“Like you’re running out of time. Writing day and night like you’re running out of time,” Ben explained, picking up the notes and examining them.

 

“I want to be prepared. It helps writing stuff down.”

 

“Yeah I get that, but you write like tomorrow won’t even arrive. Are you running out of time?” he joked.

 

“Habit I guess. I didn’t know if I would have a tomorrow growing up,” she answered honestly, yanking the paper out of his hands, placing it neatly in the pile he grabbed it from. She walked to the bed, laying down against the pillows, watching him from her position.

 

He fidgeted for a moment before making his way over and settling down next to her. “How do you like your room?” he asked lamely.

 

“I miss my bed at home.” She fluffed the pillows she was leaning on, adjusting her body before laying back down. She rolled over on her side and looked up at his frame next to her.

 

“You do have a nice bed. Ton of pillows though,” he remarked casually.

 

A moment of uncomfortable silence settled over them as he realized he broke the cardinal unspoken rule they have between them — never mention that night again.

 

Ben cringed inwardly, already trying to think of ways to apologize for bringing it up before her voice stopped him.

 

“Did you ever tell him?”

 

“Poe? No way in hell,” he answered truthfully.

 

The silence sat over them again, a heavy weight pressing into their souls, a constant reminder of the way things should have been if they’d both fought for what they wanted.

 

“Did you tell anyone?” he asked, instead of saying what he wanted.

 

“Finn knows. I told him the night of the engagement party,” she trailed off. She looked up at him, begging him silently to meet her eyes with his. Her silent prayer was answered as he rolled on his side to let them face one another. If he stretched his legs out any further, his feet would dangle off the edge of the bed.

 

“Do you ever think about it?” he asked, taking the plunge into the icy tendrils of his feelings, not caring that he was asking something inappropriate. Poe was on the other side of the world, and he refused to cater to his wishes when he was the one who gave her up. Especially when Rey was right in front of him, looking so beautiful laying on the sheets.

 

“Why did you leave?” she whispered, answering his question with a question.

 

“I didn’t, not like how you think,” he answered just as quietly.

 

“What do you mean?” Rey’s voice came out small, unsure of how to take the news. For the first time in his life, Ben looked at Rey and saw his expression mirrored in hers. Insecurity and longing.

 

“I went to get us breakfast. I wanted to bring you back coffee and shit, I don’t know, I didn’t expect you to wake up after I left. And I sure as hell didn’t expect Poe to meet me at the coffee shop.”

 

“What does that mean?” her voice had an edge to it.

 

“You weren’t supposed to show up in the same place, and Poe wasn’t supposed to be interested in you.”

 

“So you just decide to act like the night before never happened?” Her arms pushed her up until she was sitting in front of him. Her face was furrowed in anger, and he could tell he’d said the wrong thing. “You just decide to push me in the arms of another guy because he _liked_ me? Poe wasn’t the one I let fuck me the night before. It wasn’t Poe I let sleep next to me afterward. It wasn’t Poe I reached for the next morning and was sad to find an empty bed. It was you,” she hissed.

 

Ben was shocked to see her eyes began to fill with tears. “Rey, I did what I thought was best,” he tried to explain.

 

“You don’t get to decide what is best for me. Only I do,” she gritted out, scrambling off the bed, pacing in front of the mattress.

 

“You don’t get it. I am the one thing in life I can control. I am not falling behind or running late, I spent the past six months just sitting here waiting, waiting for you. If I have to wait a thousand lifetimes to be with you, I would do it again and again. Rey, please, listen to me,” he begged.

 

“Ben, stop,” she held up her hands, silencing him effectively. “You don’t get to talk right now. You silenced my decision for the past few months because you thought the only person who deserved me was Poe. So congratulations, you have invented a new kind of stupid. A damage-you-can’t-undo kind of stupid. Truly, you didn’t think this through, kind of stupid,” she lashed out at him.

 

“I wanted you. You have no idea how bad I wanted you, and you have no idea how much it hurt to see you with him.” His voice was rising and he couldn’t stop. Panic erupted all over his body as he tried to contain his emotions, but it was turning into a shit show. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. How could something turn so wrong so fast?

 

“You know what, let’s review. We had one night together, an amazing night together. You climb out of bed the next morning to bring me breakfast, which shows you wanted something more from that night. I did too. Stars, did I want something more from that night. Instead, you see your friend is into me, and you just stood by while you pushed me into his arms. All because you thought I deserved better _than you_. You don’t get to decide that, Ben. You decided to end us before we even started. You’re the only enemy here you ever seem to lose to.” Tears were silently streaming down her face as she looked at him with unabashed anger.

 

“Rey, I sacrificed my happiness because I knew how fucked up I was. I wasn’t going to make you happy. I know Poe better than anyone. You would have never found anyone more trusting or kind, and so I stood by. I was trying to do the best thing for both of you,” he begged.

 

“Sacrifice? You want to talk about sacrifice? I wasted the past few months of my life in a loveless relationship just so I could keep you in my life. I stayed with Poe _for you_. I didn’t want to lose you again. The only reason I said yes to Poe was to hurt you. The only reason I stayed with him was because I lived to see you and get to know you. It was my sick twisted way of keeping you by my side. Don’t tell me about being fucked up, because I’m just as fucked up as you are, if not more. It doesn’t wipe away the past six months. It doesn’t wipe away what we could have had. We could have been fucked up together,” she finished, finally letting all those emotions out.

 

A heavy stillness enveloped the room at her confession. The only sounds were heavy breathing from the anger and injustice coursing through their veins. Rey looked at him with hurt and pain and sadness in her eyes. She was surprised to see his void of any emotion. His lips were pursed in silent contemplation, his eyes widened, and his eyebrows raised as if he was told to solve advanced physics without a calculator. Ben Solo appeared like he’d been given a problem to solve that had no answers.

 

“I didn’t think you would want me,” his small voice broke the quiet in the room.

 

“I thought the same,” she whispered. “You should go. You have an early flight tomorrow.”

 

“Rey, I –”

 

“Please leave, Ben,” she turned away from him, staring at the wall with arms crossed, doing her best to protect herself from any more pain. She didn’t turn around until she heard the sound of the door open and shut behind her.


	8. Take A Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in a long time, Ben looked forward to seeing what his love life held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly the funnest chapter for me to write because I got to incorporate some of my favorite songs from Hamilton. I really hope you enjoy this! As always I could not have done this with my amazing friend and beta. I would be quite lost without her. I love her so much! Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)

Rey tossed and turned all night, thoughts of Ben and their conversation playing on repeat, an endless cycle where the beginning was the ending and the ending was the beginning. She refused to meet him downstairs and take him to the airport. She told Chewie she wasn’t feeling well, and he did his best not to pry.

 

It didn’t stop Ben from pounding on her door, begging her to open it before he left, just for one last conversation. Rey turned on the shower to drown out the sounds of his voice. When she was sure Ben had left, she walked out of the bathroom, halting at the sight of a letter with her name on it. She glanced at the crack of the door knowing it would have been easy for Ben to slide it under.

 

With shaking fingers, she lifted up the envelope gingerly and opened it to read the contents.

 

 

> _My Dearest, Rey,_
> 
>  
> 
> _There are moments that the words don’t reach and when you are in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down. I feel like this is the moment we are stuck in. I spent countless hours last night tossing and turning, thinking back on our conversation. The quiet was the only thing that kept me from going insane. I never liked the quiet before. But in that moment, it was the one thing tethering me to reality._
> 
>  
> 
> _Look at where we are. Look at where we started. I know I don’t deserve you, Rey. But if you could just hear me out, that would be enough. Please. I don’t pretend to know the extent of the challenges we are facing, and I don’t pretend to know how we can proceed over the past and the future we inevitably lost due to my terrible actions. I know you need time, but I’m not afraid._
> 
>  
> 
> _I know you. I know how strong you are. You are the epitome of strength and resilience. If you determine that I am redeemable in your eyes, then I will be there standing next to you the moment you ask for me. If you decide that we cannot move forward then that is your choice._
> 
>  
> 
> _Everything from here on out is up to you. I will not silence your voice on this matter. You were right. We are both fucked up individuals, but if you let me, I would love to grow as individuals, together._
> 
>  
> 
> _If you could hear me out, and let me make this up to you, the way you deserve, that would be enough. Let’s survive this moment together, and swim to the surface, despite how daunting the task may seem._
> 
>  
> 
> _Always yours,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Ben_

  


Droplets of water fell on the hotel stationary bearing Ben’s beautiful handwriting. She blinked confusedly, unsure of where the water was coming from until she felt the tears on her cheeks.

 

She clutched the letter in her hands, choking the contents with the strength of her hold. She looked down at the now crinkled paper with an air of disbelief that he would try to mend things so soon after their argument. He had some nerve.

 

Rey fumbled for her phone, pulling up Finn’s contact and calling him on Skype, needing to talk to the someone who would always stand in her corner, regardless of who dated who.

 

_“Peanut?”_ Finn’s voice filled her screen and Rey smiled at her friend.

 

“Finn, I’m sorry, I don’t know what time it is, but I needed to talk to you,” she rambled.

 

Finn took in her blotched face and swollen eyes. _“Is this about Poe?”_

 

“What? No. What does he have to do with anything?”

 

_“I thought someone told you he went on a date last night. That’s why you’re upset."_ Finn eyed her cautiously.

 

Rey allowed the words to settle, relishing in the feeling of guilt evaporating as Poe wasted no time in moving on from her and her presence. “I had no idea. Good for him. He deserves to be happy,” she said truthfully.

 

_“Alright…so if that’s not why you’re calling, then what’s wrong? Did the talks go wrong? Is it Han?”_

 

“It’s Ben,” she began, retelling Finn the events of what occurred the past week. He took in the story quietly, nodding along and asking a question only when pertinent. He was an excellent listener and clearly realized Rey needed his advice on such a sensitive topic.

 

_“So he basically wants another chance at this? After he told you he wanted you with Poe in the beginning?”_

 

“Yes, like I’m some trophy! He doesn’t get to decide that. And then he acts like we can move on from this like nothing happened!”

 

_“Well, I mean, I kinda see where he is coming from.”_

 

“Please explain, because I fail to see it.”

 

_“Look, what he did was wrong. Absolutely. He shouldn’t have silenced your voice on the matter. He should have said something. Just like you should have said something. You stayed with Poe to be close to Ben. That’s fucked up. You both did something terrible. But it doesn’t change the fact that you are both so obviously still into one another. He watched you almost marry his best friend, and still wants to be with you. Your crush on him only increased the longer you two spent together. There’s something there. I think you need to talk it out and see what that something is.”_

 

Rey sat quietly for a few minutes, mulling over what Finn just told her. He sat patiently, knowing she would talk in her own time.

 

“Let’s say I wanted to try. If I wanted to try, how would we even get past that?” she asked.

 

_“Do what you two didn’t do from the start. Talk.”_

 

\----

 

Ben sat in his father’s office, waiting for the bastard to finally make an appearance.

 

“Benny boy, you made it!” Han sauntered in as if he wasn’t just making Ben wait fifteen minutes for him to arrive.

 

“Yep, I made it. On time, I might add,” his temper already rising.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Just got off the phone with Rey. Blasted time change keeps throwing us off our schedule. I never know if she is gonna be sleeping or in the middle of knocking a few back with Chewie.” He settled in his chair, the desk dividing father and son in the office.

 

Ben did his best to hide the disappointment in the fact his father got to speak to her. He hadn’t heard a word from her since he’d left the letter for her. He did what he said he would. He would wait for her to decide what she wanted, even if it took forever.

 

“What’s going on over there?” Ben asked instead.

 

“Ah, the usual. Rey drove a hard bargain, they withdrew their offer, and I couldn’t be happier. That girl is a spitfire. But I don’t need to tell you that, huh?” Han smirked. “Now, let’s talk business. You want in, or not? Rey said you did a really great job. You asked all the right questions when you were prepping for the meetings. You made sure everything was in order. And the best part, you didn’t try to dismiss her in front of the other men. We never cower when a strong woman is in our presence. We thank them for spending time on our idiot selves,” Han joked.

 

Ben inwardly preened at the compliments Rey gave him via his father. It was as close as he got to her, and he would take it.

 

“I’m in, Dad. You have nothing to worry about,” Ben promised.

 

The look of pride on his father’s face was almost worth the falling out he had with Rey to get here. Almost.

 

“I’m trusting you with my legacy. At least someone will get to reap the seeds I planted. Now, let’s talk serious stuff now.” Han clapped his hands, leaning over the desk with his elbows pressed against the glass covering the wood.

 

“Um, what’s more serious than who you are leaving the company with?”

 

“Women, Ben. One in particular. Your mother has been trying to get you to see reason, and you refuse to acknowledge it. She tried to get you and Rey together on that trip but seeing as you came back just as moody, my bet is it didn’t go too well. When are you gonna get your head out of your ass and tell her how you feel?”

 

Ben’s entire face flushed red, and he felt mortification rise from the depths of his soul as he cowered in the chair. All of a sudden he was a teenager again, sitting awkwardly in his bedroom as his father tried to give him the sex talk and tell him the changes he was going through were normal. He wanted to jump out of the window during that conversation, and he wouldn’t mind flinging himself through the windows behind his father during this one.

 

“On that note, I think it’s time for me to leave,” Ben stood, eager to escape what was sure to be another awkward and life-altering conversation with his father.

 

“You will sit down and listen to your dad, kid. I have solid advice.”

 

“Was it just to tell her? Because I already did that, and now she hasn’t spoken a word to me since I left.”

 

“How’d you fuck it up?”

 

“Why do you assume it was me who did something?” Ben was shocked, appalled. Had he no faith in his son?

 

“Well, was it you?”

 

Ben chose to say nothing. He wanted to throw a stapler at his father’s face as he watched his stupid smirk grow.  “Look, the conversation didn’t go over well. I apologized and told her however we move forward is up to her. She holds the cards here.”

 

“And she always will. Remember that,” Han sagely agreed.

 

“That’s your great advice? That tells me nothing.”

 

“Fine, here’s another one free of charge. When she talks to you again, don’t fuck it up. And don’t ruin my company because you were too stubborn to make your future wife happy. Happy wife, happy life. Now get out of here and handle things at your old job. We gotta start grooming you. I know Rey said you were good, but she could be blinded by love. I’ll see you later, kid.”

 

Ben walked out of the office in a daze. Did his parents really think Rey was the one for him? He knew his mom believed it, but finding out his dad was fine with it was a shock. As he waited for the elevator to open its doors, his phone chimed with the alert he’d just received an e-mail. He knew taking a long lunch was a bad idea so soon after his trip. His work piled up incessantly, and there seemed to be no end to it.

 

At least he only had to deal with it for another month.

 

He opened his app as he stepped inside the elevator and almost dropped his phone as he glanced it over.

 

 

> **To:** ben.solo@firstorder.com
> 
> **From:** rey.nimma@milleniumfalcon.com
> 
>  
> 
> _Dear Ben,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I am slow to anger, but I toe the line as I reckon at the effects of your life on mine._
> 
>  
> 
> _I don’t want to fight, but I also want to be clear I won’t apologize for the actions I committed. I stand for myself, and I did what I do best – survive. I know I should learn by now that I am not the orphan immigrant who had to fight to make it to the next day, but old habits die hard._
> 
>  
> 
> _I can only assume you understand what I mean by this by standing to the side as you pushed Poe to me. We were both at fault for the past six months._
> 
>  
> 
> _I want to get past it and explore the paths that we can embark on, but in order to do that, we need to do something that we apparently have not been very good at. Communicate._
> 
>  
> 
> _As an act of good faith, I will start. I miss you, Ben. Despite how hard I try, you were the one I always wanted, and I fear you will always be the one I want._
> 
>  
> 
> _Yours,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Rey_

 

Ben felt the tendrils of hope wrap around his heart as he read the contents of Rey’s e-mail. She wanted to save _this,_ whatever this was. A smile grew on his face as he read the letter over and over, not daring to believe it was real, but hoping against hope this was not a dream. As he walked slowly to his car, he began to draft a response.

 

_I miss you too, come home._

 

No, that was too needy.

 

_Of course you wouldn’t apologize, you’re too proud._

 

That would come off wrong if she didn’t perceive his tone correctly.

 

His eyebrows furrowed and he chewed on his bottom lip, trying his best to formulate the thoughts that danced around his head. The best place to start would be to communicate.

 

 

> **To:** rey.niima@milleniumfalcon.com
> 
> **From:** ben.solo@firstorder.com
> 
>  
> 
> _My dearest, Rey,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Words cannot begin to describe how elated I felt at receiving your e-mail. I will do my best to be deserving of this second chance you are giving me._
> 
>  
> 
> _Like yourself, I do not want to fight. I have spent the past few months living in agony watching your relationship with another man blossom. Knowing that the relationship was tainted and unwanted, it grieves me. I want to prove to you I am the man you deserve. You will be mine, and I will be yours._
> 
>  
> 
> _Unlike you, however, I must apologize for my actions. I succumbed to my self-loathing, insecurity, and doubt over the night we had. I never thought a woman such as yourself would want me. I am astounded and elated at being wrong._
> 
>  
> 
> _I am never one to express my feelings, but for you, I’ll try. Your presence knocks me out. I fall apart at your hands. I would burn galaxies for you. One word from you could destroy me, and I would gladly give you this power again and again._
> 
>  
> 
> _Come home soon. The days creep by at a petty pace without you here._
> 
>  
> 
> _I can’t wait to see you again. I miss you._
> 
>  
> 
> _I’ve Always Been Yours,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Ben_

 

With shaking hands, Ben pressed send. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest when he watched the sent notification pop up on his phone. He was shit at talking about his feelings, but writing he could do. If their entire relationship had to exist in the premise of letters, he would gladly do it.

 

For the first time in a long time, Ben looked forward to seeing what his love life held.

 

A few hours later though, he was cursing the entire existence of the internet and the sun for causing time zones to exist. He had to believe that was the only reason Rey had not responded to his last message. Huffing, he forced himself to lay down. Closing his eyes, he mentally counted backward from ten, letting the breathing exercise help slow his thoughts. It would be fine. Rey said they would try.

 

He repeated that mantra as he fell asleep.

 

He wasn’t proud to admit this, but the first thing he did when he woke up was look at his phone for any e-mail he might have missed through the night. His eagerness did not disappoint.

 

 

> **To:** ben.solo@firstorder.com
> 
> **From:** rey.niima@milleniumfalcon.com
> 
>  
> 
> _My Dearest Ben,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I daresay that if you were able to write love letters to me from the beginning we would never be in this predicament to begin with. Or even a note on the pillow._
> 
>  
> 
> _However, you thought it best to use your words._
> 
>  
> 
> _For your own benefit, I advise if I am ever mad at you to write me letters. You are eloquent and quite the charmer through these messages. I must confess, it is hard to stay mad at you when you write those pretty words about us._
> 
>  
> 
> _The letters I received from you I noticed a comma in the middle of the phrase. It changed the meaning. Did you intend this? One stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days._
> 
>  
> 
> _It says ‘My dearest, Rey,’ with a comma after dearest._
> 
>  
> 
> _You’ve written ‘My Dearest, Rey.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Anyways all this to say, I’m coming home tomorrow. I’ll be spending the weekend at your parent’s lake house at your mother’s invitation to celebrate some important work news Han refuses to tell me. I’ll be there with your family if you make your way upstate. I know you’re very busy. I know your work’s important, but I’m crossing the ocean and I just can’t wait._
> 
>  
> 
> _You won’t be an ocean away._
> 
>  
> 
> _You will only be a moment away._
> 
>  
> 
> _Take a break and get away. Run away for the weekend with me, let’s go upstate. You and I can go and enjoy the lake. We can finally talk in person._
> 
>  
> 
> _Oh, I can’t wait to see you again. It’s only a matter of time._
> 
>  
> 
> _Until then, close your eyes and dream. I’ll be back before you know it._
> 
>  
> 
> _Always Yours,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Rey_

 

Ben fought back a smile as he finished reading her letter. He would do everything in his power to be there when Han told her she was going to start taking over the company.

 

The first thing he did at work was draft his resignation letter. When he signed his name at the bottom of the page, he felt relief. This chapter of his life was closing, and a new one was beginning. One he was eager to start walking the path on.

 

**Ben:** <I’ll be there at the lake house this weekend>

 

**Mom:** <Who told you about that?>

 

**Ben:** <Does it matter? Was I not invited?>

 

**Mom:** <So you spoke to Rey, huh? How is that going?>

 

**Ben:** <I’d rather not get into this>

 

**Mom:** <You know you were conceived at the lake house. I wouldn’t be mad if you wanted to carry on the family tradition>

 

**Ben:** <MOM, NO!>

 

**Leia:** <Sex is a natural part of life, Ben. As much as you would like to think the stork dropped you off, I can guarantee that is not how it happened>

 

**Ben:** <I’m begging you. For the sake of your future grandchildren. Do not say this in front of Rey.>

 

**Leia:** <Oh, so there is something to destroy with you and Rey? Which means there is something there. Perfect. I’ll make sure you two get a room together. Can’t wait to see you!>

 

Ben stared at his phone in horror. He knew when his mother got a plan in her mind, there was no way to fight it. He only hoped that Rey wouldn’t be skittish when his mother came on strong. After dealing with this, he knew he deserved to take a break, but a break with his family wasn’t really a break at all.

 

He thought about the upcoming weekend, eager to put the past behind him.

 

**Poe:** <Hey, wanna grab a drink later? I haven’t seen you since you headed out of the country!>

 

Kriff. This was one thing he couldn’t move past.

 


	9. Not Throwing Away My Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why would you make a person you supposedly love pick between a career they worked for and a relationship. Who does that? You didn’t even love her, Poe.” Ben didn’t realize he was standing until he noticed he was looming over Poe.
> 
> Poe scoffed. “I thought I did. That’s what counts doesn’t it? And why are you defending her? You’re acting like you’re the one in love with–”
> 
> Ben stood tall, meeting Poe’s face with an unwavering stare. “Like what, Poe? Say it,” he urged.
> 
> Poe’s eyes narrowed. “Are you kidding me?” he whispered. “You’re my oldest friend. You were the best man. And now, you’re telling me you’re in love with her? What’s next? You were fucking around behind my back?”
> 
> There must have been something in Ben’s face, something that must have tipped off how far the physical relationship went between himself and Rey. He knew it gave him away, because the next thing he knew, Poe stood up, breathing heavily, fists clenched, looking for a target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long break in between updates. I totally meant to update this before my vacation, but that did not happen. So here I am, updating after vacay. Comments and kudos are golden guys! Especially because I feel like poop right now haha Thanks to my amazing beta for reading this over for me. She is officially caught up, which means I got to write the next chapter. Couldn't do this without you Linds! If you haven't read her fics, definitely check her out - [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)

Ben paced back and forth outside the bar. He knew this was something he had to do if the relationship between himself and Rey was to move forward. And he wanted it to move forward. Stars, did he want that. He wanted her, and this time he wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way, not even himself. 

 

He wasn’t sure how Poe would react once he heard the news, but this was something he had to deal with. Rey was going to be a part of his life. He hoped for the rest of his life. In order for that to happen, he had to tell Poe the truth. He was his oldest friend, and he refused to spring their relationship out of nowhere on him. 

 

“Hey man! Were you waiting long?” Poe strolled up, hands in his pockets, looking carefree and happy. 

 

Ben looked at him in puzzlement. He didn’t look like the man who showed up drunk at his house just a month ago. This man in front of him looked… happy.

 

“Hey, how have you been?” he replied cautiously. His eyes roamed over Poe, trying to find an answer for his jubilant mood.

 

“Great! Ready to grab some beers. I heard this place has a great IPA,” Poe walked in, not even bothering to look behind him to see if Ben was following.

 

He watched Poe slide onto a barstool, winking at the bartender jovially. Ben watched this all occur with wary amusement as he sat down next to him.

 

“Um, I don’t know how to say this, but you seem…,” Ben trailed off, trying the best to say what he was thinking. Rey was right. He was better at communicating his feelings through notes and letters.

 

“Like I didn’t just have my fiance leave me?” Poe helpfully supplied.

 

“Right,” Ben agreed, happy he didn’t have to say it. 

 

Poe let out a huge laugh, drawing the attention of the other guests. “Nah man, I’m okay. You know me. When I get knocked down, I just get back up again. I even went out on a couple of dates. Remember Kay from work? She asked me out and I just said yes. It was fun. I’m seeing her again this weekend. As a matter of fact, she’s got this single friend. Want to double date?” Poe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Ben did his best to quell the rising nausea in his stomach at the thought of dating someone else besides Rey.

 

“No thanks,” Ben shut him down immediately. “So, you’re really doing okay?”

 

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know how to explain it. Oh, hang on, yeah we’d like the house IPA please, thanks! I woke up the next day, and I just felt free. Like there was a weight lifted off my chest.”

 

The bartender set down the drinks in front of them. Poe stopped his tale and sipped at the beer. Ben followed his lead, unsure of what to make of this new information. He was still going to tell him, but now he wasn’t sure if Poe would actually care.

 

“I just remembered these things about her. Like the way she always stole food off my plate. Why didn’t she just order more food? Where did it all go anyways? She’s a stick! Not to mention how dependent she is on your parents. I told her before they weren’t her family. She couldn’t rely on them like that. Leia and my mom are still fighting about her. Even after the break-up. It’s ridiculous,” Poe continued, rolling his eyes as he took another sip. 

 

Ben’s fist clenched in anger. “What did you say to her?” he asked quietly.

 

Poe stared at him with a look of disbelief. “You can’t really be upset about that. Didn’t it bug you how they treated her? You told me more than once you thought they preferred her over you,” he countered.

 

“Those are  _ my  _ parents. I can say whatever the fuck I want to. You had no right to tell Rey that. They are her family, no matter what,” Ben argued. 

 

Rage swirled in his gut. Who did he think he was telling Rey she didn’t belong to his family? He had no kriffing right to say those words to her. Not to his little survivor who fought so hard to get to where she was. 

 

“What the hell is your problem? It’s not like they are gonna see her again,” Poe argued.

 

Ben slowly counted backward from five, fighting the urge to deck his best friend in the face. “What makes you think they wouldn’t?”

 

“Oh, because Han and Rey work together? Well, yeah, but it’s not like you and Rey were close, so I doubt Leia would invite her over.”

 

“Are you fucking serious? You really need to stop talking Poe. I am trying really hard not to punch you right now.”

 

“What the fuck is your problem? You are  _ my _ best friend. Why are you defending her? She  _ left  _ me. She picked her fucking career over me. Did you know that’s why we broke up? I asked her to stay with me and not go on that blasted business trip. But Rey always does what she wants. She doesn’t care about anyone else but herself and her career.”

 

“Why would you make a person you  _ supposedly  _ love pick between a career they worked for and a relationship. Who does that? You didn’t even love her, Poe.” Ben didn’t realize he was standing until he noticed he was looming over Poe. 

 

Poe scoffed. “I thought I did. That’s what counts doesn’t it? And why are you defending her? You’re acting like _you’re_ the one in love with–”

 

Ben stood tall, meeting Poe’s face with an unwavering stare. “Like what, Poe? Say it,” he urged.

 

Poe’s eyes narrowed. “Are you kidding me?” he whispered. “You’re my oldest friend. You were the best man. And now, you’re telling me you’re in love with her? What’s next? You were fucking around behind my back?” 

 

There must have been something in Ben’s face, something that must have tipped off how far the physical relationship went between himself and Rey. He knew it gave him away, because the next thing he knew, Poe stood up, breathing heavily, fists clenched, looking for a target.

 

“You son of a bitch,” he snarled, launching himself into Ben’s figure.

 

Screams erupted around them as they tangled on the disgusting floor of the bar. Poe had a crazed look in his eyes, scrambling for any hold he could get on Ben’s clothes. Ben was thankful for his height and muscle mass. He kept his arms firmly locked on Poe’s wrists trying to get him to stop. 

 

“Poe, for kriff’s sake, will you stop?” he grunted as he rolled on top of him, legs straddling Poe’s body. “We didn’t sleep together when you guys were dating!”

 

“Oh, so right after we broke up? Way to go, Ben, that’s real great,” Poe yelled sarcastically, releasing his wrist, throwing a hard punch against Ben’s jaw, splitting his lip open. 

 

“Fuck,” Ben growled, before landing one of his own against Poe’s face. He was sure it was going to be a bruise. “Will you just listen to me?”

 

“Alright you two, that is enough,” a voice yelled from behind him, pulling the two off each other. 

 

Poe and Ben both scrambled off one another as they felt the vice-like grip of the bodyguards drag them upwards to a standing position. 

 

“Get out of here. Now,” the two bodyguards said, shoving them out the door.

 

Ben and Poe both breathed heavily, steadying their breaths as they warily took in another. 

 

Poe wiped away the blood that was trickling into his eye from the punch Ben gave. “So how long did it take for her to give it up to you? She wouldn’t sleep with me, but the minute you come around, Rey just opens her damn legs for you? I don’t believe this,” he screamed into the night.

 

“Poe, will you shut the fuck up for once, and just listen. Fools who run their mouths often wind up dead,” Ben growled, shoving his hands in his pockets, curbing the urge to throttle Poe again.

 

“Is that a threat?” Poe took a step forward.

 

“For kriff’s sake, it’s not– Look, you’re right. I love her. I tried not to, I tried so hard because she doesn’t deserve someone like me. She deserved someone like you,” Ben tried to explain.

 

“Why, because I’m just second best to Ben Solo? Rey couldn’t cut it with you and your family? Is that it?”

 

“Say one more bad thing about her, I dare you,” Ben threatened. 

 

“Just save your sorry excuses man. This friendship is done,” Poe muttered, turning around to walk away.

 

“You were perfect,” Ben called out after him. He was pleased to see Poe stop in his tracks. “You’re smart, funny, a good guy, shit the best guy I know. And Rey deserves the best. That’s not me. The minute you saw her in the coffee shop, I stepped aside. And I thought I could move on, but she is just – I love her man. I didn’t make the best decision that day. But I’m trying to fix that.”

 

Poe just stood there for a minute, frozen in time, processing the information Ben gave him. He blinked once, then twice, and then turned around to walk away. That time, Ben didn’t call after him.

 

\-----

 

Han watched in amusement as Ben walked through the lakehouse, arms laden with groceries.

 

“Jesus kid, you look like you’re trying to feed a whole damn army. Didn’t your mom tell you this is just a weekend trip?’

 

“This isn’t for you,” he scoffed, setting the bags on the counter. 

 

Han’s eyes widened as Ben pulled out multiple brands of chips, cookies, juice, and other snacks. “Then who is it for, because last I checked, Chewie is only coming down for the day.”

 

“It’s for Rey,” Ben responded in a tone that told Han he should have obviously known from the beginning. 

 

A mischievous grin grew slowly on Han’s face. “Guess you two talked it out, huh?”

 

A bag of chips flew through the air, hitting Han in the face. 

 

“Can’t you lay off for once?” Ben grumbled as he felt the tips of his ears flush red. 

 

His dad just laughed in response, “Listen, kid, I couldn’t have picked a better daughter-in-law. I’m happy for the both of you.” He walked out before he could give Ben the chance to deny what he’d stated.

 

Unpacking and sorting the groceries kept Ben’s thoughts occupied as he attempted to not glance at the clock. She would be here soon, and everything would be okay.

 

Despite his efforts, Poe never responded to his attempts at talking things out since the bar incident occurred a couple of nights ago. Multiple texts were sent explaining what relationship he had with Rey prior to and during the relationship she had with Poe. 

 

Hux refused to take sides. He loved everyone and wanted their small group of friends to make up. In his eyes, everyone was at fault and made mistakes. Everyone was screaming their opinion so loud no one seemed to be listening to the other. Hux persuaded Ben to give Poe time to sulk without being bothered. He was sure this would give Poe the space to think things through without the person he currently hated buzzing in his ear.

 

Unease settled in his nerves as he contemplated the next steps in his relationship with Rey. They had made their intentions clear, the feelings they felt for one another were real, but were they ready to take the next step? Rey just got out of a relationship, and yes it may have been one she didn’t care for, but maybe she wanted to time to ground herself. 

 

Then there was the matter of the promotion Han was going to give her. She was always career-focused. This could be just another step in her life that she needed to take alone. He would never make her choose between her career and their relationship. Ben knew Rey’s career was her own security blanket to ensure she would never face what she endured growing up again. 

 

The thoughts dissipated as he heard the front door open and the sound of women laughing filled the hallway. 

 

A crunching noise joined the echoes of laughter, and Ben was surprised to find his hands gripping the bag of cookies in a vice. He was sure there were no survivors. With a sigh, he tossed the cookies into the trash and just hoped Rey didn’t want that specific kind. And if she did, he would gladly drive the hour to the nearest store and get them for her. 

 

“Rey, I hope you don’t mind, but the other rooms are being redecorated. Ben was generous enough to let you share his room,” he heard his mother say.

 

_ That diabolical woman. _

 

“Oh, no I couldn’t possibly,” she awkwardly laughed.

 

“Nonsense, we are all adults here. And I know how close you two are. It should be fine.”

 

Their voices were coming closer and closer. Panic seeped in as he realized he was just standing there, eavesdropping like a creep. Instinct took over and Ben used his socks to slide on the hardwood floors into the living room, throwing himself over the couch to Han’s amusement.

 

“Shut up,” he grumbled as he righted himself, schooling his features to seem like he had no idea Rey was coming in today, and it would be a pleasant surprise. Of course, intentions are not actions.

 

The moment Rey stepped in the room, his body just  _ knew _ and he turned to look straight at her. He stumbled over himself as he stood from the couch.

 

“Rey,” he breathed out, eyes only on her. 

 

Leia and Han watched this interaction with interest, only sparing a moment to grin at one another.

 

“Ben. It’s good to see your face.” Her eyes narrowed as she studied his face closer. “Is your lip swollen?”

 

“Ben, why don’t you show Rey your room and let her get settled. She had a long drive,” Leia interjected, breaking the two out of the haze, allowing Ben to think of a way to gently mention he may have gotten in a fight about her.

 

Their hands brushed together softly as he took her bag and led her down the hallway. Did his mother remember his room was on the opposite side of the house, as far away from his parents' room as it could? 

 

Knowing his mother, she remembered all too well.

 

The sounds of her footsteps following him to his room sent his nerves alight in a way that he hadn’t felt since their first night together. Everything was different now. She was no longer the future Mrs. Dameron. 

 

She was Rey Niima again. 

 

It felt like the world would never be the same. 

 

Shaking fingers grasped the doorknob as he pushed it open, walking in and allowing Rey to enter at her own pace. 

 

“There’s only one bed,” her voice broke the silence between them.

 

“Right, sorry about that. Mom has… well, it doesn’t matter. You can have the bed. I can sleep on the floor if you want.”

 

“Your mom is as subtle as a heart attack,” her laughter filled the air as she walked to the bed, sitting down, bouncing lightly testing the firmness of the mattress. “We can share, the bed is big enough.”

 

She wasn’t wrong. His height demanded a large bed. As soon as he hit his third growth spurt as a teenager, his parents bought him king-sized mattresses for all their homes. 

 

“Besides, we slept on smaller.” Her eyes met his in a firm stare, daring him to call her out for her statement. The defiant and mischievous look she gave him made his throat dry. He needed to remain calm. She was in control here, and she knew it. 

 

With a firm nod, he set her bag at the foot of the bed. “The restroom is just across the hall. My parents have their own, so it’s just us.” 

 

Her pink tongue darted out and licked her lips, and he was captivated by the movement. His eyes darted back up, meeting her heated gaze. The air seemed to grow thicker between them as he felt the incessant pull to be close to her. He felt so helpless and knew he was down for the count as he was drowning in her eyes. 

 

“Rey, I just want to say I –”

 

“Ben, do your old man a favor and grab some firewood for us,” Han’s voice called out.

 

Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair, glancing at Rey to see how she handled the interruption. 

 

“Go ahead, I’m going to shower.” 

 

Ben had to bite his tongue to fight the moan that threatened to escape as the thought of Rey naked and wet ran through his mind. He managed a nod before bolting from the room. He needed to get away, to breathe, to focus, to recenter himself. She was the sun and he was lost in her orbit whenever she was near. 

 

“You okay there kid?” Han’s voice brought him out of his inner turmoil.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are we grilling outside tonight?”

 

“Nah, thought you and Rey could spend some time out by the lake with the fire. You know, set the mood.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“I’m leaving now.” Ben fought the shudder that was crawling up his spine. 

 

“You know you were conceived in this house, don’t you?”

 

“Don’t worry, Mom already told me. I really don’t want to relive that conversation either,” Ben cut his father off before he continued, using his long legs to his advantage as he ran out of the house. 

 

He spent the better part of the next hour chopping the firewood and lining it up against the firepit they built behind their house. 

 

Wood slamming against wood signaled someone emerging outside, startling him out of his routine. Damp hair obscured his eyesight, and he pushed it out of the way to view what he thought would be his mother coming to tell him to hurry the hell up. He was startled to see Rey standing there… and was that his shirt? His arousal spiked,  and he felt his tongue snake out to lick his lips. 

 

“I hope you don’t mind. I forgot my sweater, and your mother said you wouldn’t care,” she explained, tugging at the plaid flannel shirt that swallowed her frame.  

 

“Not at all,” his voice came out deeper than he intended. He felt the possessive urge of seeing her in his clothing, the urge to proudly display this beautiful woman as his, and his alone. After the past few months of their miscommunication, he needed the world to know he was hers and she was his. At least, she would be if he had any say in the matter.

 

“Have you gotten to a stopping point? I feel like we should talk.”

 

With a final swing, the ax sliced into the stump with a resounding thud. He motioned for her to follow him as he trailed down a path that would take them to the lake. The sun was falling below the horizon and the stars were beginning to make an appearance.

 

“Where are Han and Leia?” he asked, breaking the unsettling silence between them. He shoved his hands into his pockets, doing his best to fight the urge to place his hand on the small of her back.

 

“They went to go get dinner. I don’t know why. We had plenty of snacks,” she answered, looking anywhere but at him. Her eyes settled on the reflection of the sun setting in the water. They were close enough to hear the gentle waves lapping on the shore from the breeze. Rey stopped in her tracks, taking in the beauty of the world, and relishing in the sense of peace she hadn’t felt in so long. With a deep breath, she continued, “Ben, I need to apologize. We both handled things inappropriately, and if one of us actually had the sense to communicate, we could have avoided everything. I’m sorry.”

 

“Rey,” he took a step forward, grasping her small hands in his, “I was such a nerf herder. If I just left a  _ kriffing _ note this would have never happened. I wish none of this ever happened. I’d give anything to go back and fix it.”

 

Rey sniffed and he was surprised to see her eyes filling with tears. “I’m fine,” she promised. 

 

“I know this is terrible timing, but I don’t want to keep anything else from you. I told Poe about us. From before the relationship.”

 

Rey’s eyes widened a fraction, gently saying, “How did he take it?”

 

“About as well as you thought. Things were already heated between us. He told me what he told you. The night you left. How my family wasn’t yours. You know that’s not true, don’t you? They love you.”

 

Rey nodded slowly. “Yeah, I do, it’s just… it hit a bit too close to home. I never thought I could say with confidence that I felt like I had a family, but your parents do a great job of making me feel that way.”

 

He looked at her, searching for any sign of insecurity before continuing the conversation. “Well, when Poe found out, I didn’t explain it well, and he took it the wrong way. He thought you were still with him when we… started. We ended up getting into a fight about it. That’s actually how I got my busted lip.”

 

“You fought your best friend because of me?” She took a step closer, looking at his swollen lip, then trailing down to glance at his bruised knuckles. “Ben, why would you do that?”

 

“You must know by now.”

 

Their eyes met. Passion and heat filled both their gazes as they took in one another’s presence. Rey’s stomach was alight with butterflies. Ben’s face hardened for a moment as if he clearly knew what he had to do and was determined to complete it. 

 

“Rey, I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time. Please, I’m begging you, will you give this another chance?”

 

She gave him a beatific watery smile, gently placing her hand gently on his cheek. “I’m not throwing away my shot,” she whispered before closing the distance between them. Plump lips landed on his, and Ben was lost in the beauty of it. 

 

He loved her. In his heart, he knew she loved him too. For once in his life, he felt like happiness was finally in his grasp, and he was never letting go. 


	10. The World Turned Upside Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Han were saying goodbye, talking about the next steps they would need to take in order to transfer ownership and start training to ensure the transition was as smooth as possible, when Leia pulled Ben aside.
> 
> “Ben, I know you may think I’m pushing it, but here,” she said, placing a velvet box in hand, careful to hide it from Rey’s sight. “It’s your grandmother’s engagement ring. She wanted you to have it.”
> 
> “Mom, come on. Rey and I just started…” he muttered, grasping the box tightly in his hand as if it was his only tether to the planet.
> 
> “You listen to me, Benjamin Solo. I have watched you two pine over each other for the past half a year. I have watched you two refuse to communicate. I have watched her almost marry someone else because you both were too stubborn. I’m not waiting another six months of you dancing around each other for you to confess your true feelings. Get it together and marry her. If there is one thing you listen to me about, listen to this. You two belong to each other.”
> 
> “I know.”
> 
> Leia’s mouth shut in shock. This was a first. He’d never known a person who had rendered Leia Organa-Solo speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this is technically the last chapter. All we have left is the epilogue, and I can't believe this story is almost over. I was thinking of adding another chapter, kind of a deleted scene that shows Poe and Ben making up and moving forward. Thoughts? Thanks to my amazing beta for reading this over for me. Couldn't do this without you Linds! You are my hero and I love you. If you haven't read her fics, definitely check her out - [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)

The instant her lips met his, Ben was consumed by her, lost in the feeling of having this beautiful woman back in his arms. Using her teeth to slowly pull his lower lip to her, her nails lightly scraped against his back before finding their way into his hair. He let out a small groan, bending her body backwards to allow him to dominate their embrace. 

 

He growled as he wrapped his large hands around her pert and tiny ass, lifting her up and bracing her form against the tree. Rey whimpered as she felt the rough ridges from the bark dig into her back. It hurt in the best possible way, grounding her to reality, letting her know what was happening between her and Ben was  _ real,  _ not some dream. Rey’s legs wrapped around his waist, squirming until she settled in the best position, her warm center pressed against his growing erection. She bit back a moan as she felt him grind against her, eager for some form of friction. 

 

“Oh, Ben,” she whispered into his mouth. He eagerly devoured his name falling from her lips, licking, tugging, nipping; incessant with the need to swallow every sound she made. 

 

“You have no idea,” he whispered, pulling away to trail kisses along her neck, “how long I’ve wanted this.  _ Needed  _ this. It was torture,” he breathed into the nape of her neck, slowly licking a hot stripe up to her jawline. She mewled as she felt him gently exhale on her earlobe, taking it lightly in his teeth. 

 

“I dreamed of you,” she confessed. Words she ached to profess spilled out of her for the world to hear. “I dreamt of us being together again. I would wake up, just aching to be filled by you.”

 

He thrust against her, her body meeting his with every motion as they rocked against the tree. “Fuck Rey. If you keep doing that, I won’t last long.” Ben threw his head back, eyes gazing at the now darkened sky, the stars christening their reunion. 

 

“It’s okay if you do. I promise you, this won’t be the only time I make you cum,” she wantonly moaned, increasing the pace, needing to feel friction against her swollen nub. Her cunt clenched within her, eager to have her hole filled. Her panties were soaked, and she knew there would be a wet spot against Ben’s pants. 

 

“Yes sweetheart, keep talking like that. Be naughty for me,” he rumbled. He pulled her arms away from the back of his neck, and pinned them against the tree above her head. This is what Rey reduced him to — a quivering mess who was about to cum in his pants because a pretty girl told him too — like he was a kriffing seventeen-year-old virgin again, trying not to finish early as he felt a girl’s boob for the first time. 

 

“I want to take your cock in my mouth. I want to choke on how big you are. You’d fill me up so good,” she continued to whisper depraved things in his ear. He whimpered, increasing his erratic thrusts against her dampened center. With a stuttered groan he felt himself finish, a darkened spot on his pants from his spend. 

 

“Ben, please,” she begged, still grinding against him, eager for a release. 

 

“I’ve got you sweetheart, don’t worry,” he cooed in her ear, releasing her hands from his grip. His hand found the button of her jeans, and he tantalizingly lowered her zipper. “You want this, don’t you?” 

 

They both knew he didn’t expect an answer as his large and warm hand slid into her underwear. He moaned as he felt how wet she was, just aching to be filled by him and him alone. His male pride surged at knowing he was the last person to feel her like this, the last one to reduce her to shaking mess, just begging for his touch. She bucked her hips into his large hand, silently begging for his large fingers to enter her.

 

“Kids, are you out here?” Han’s voice called out.

 

The two stilled, staring at each other in wide-eyed horror.

 

“What if something happened to them?” Leia’s voice filled the silence of the forest that surrounded them.

 

“Oh, I’m sure something did,” he joked suggestively. A smack resounded followed by the grumbling of Han.

 

“That son of a bitch. I’m gonna kill him,” Ben growled, reluctantly pulling his hand away from her warm center. She whimpered at the loss of his touch, and he knew in that moment he would never forgive his parents for this transgression.

 

“We’re out here!” Ben yelled back, fumbling at the button on Rey’s jeans to close it. He never thought he would ever be be putting clothes  _ back on _ her.

 

“See, I told you they were fine,” Han’s booming voice reached them as they adjusted their rumpled clothes. “We are heading back to the cabin. We brought pizza!”

 

The sounds of leaves and twigs breaking signaled the departure of Ben’s parents. They both let out a sigh of relief, relishing in not getting caught with Ben’s hand down her pants. He leaned his forehead against hers, resting lightly as he looked into her eyes. Her teeth bit her bottom lip as she tried to prevent the embarrassed smile from growing on her face. He raised his eyes sardonically, meeting her gaze before the two erupted into laughter. 

 

“That could have been bad,” Rey said when their laughter died.

 

“I think my mom would have been more upset at interrupting us before we got to the main part. She has been on me for grandkids for years,” he grumbled.

 

“Believe me, I know,” Rey agreed, pushing herself off the tree she was shoved against. Pieces of bark fell on the ground as she shook out her shirt. “Ready to eat?”

 

“Oh, I’m ready to eat something,” he growled, his large hands grasping her hips and squeezing them suggestively. He was pleased to see a delicate blush form on her cheeks in contrast to her eyes darkening with desire. This woman owned him body and soul and she had no idea.

 

“Ben, we almost got caught by your parents,” she scolded, stepping out of his hold. His body mourned the loss of contact. Even when she was standing just a foot away it was still too far now that she was finally his. 

 

“The next time I get you in bed, you won’t leave it for days,” he promised.

 

“Oh, Ben,” she smiled dangerously as she stepped closer to him, straightening his shirt with her small fingers, “not if I tie you up first.”

 

Dumbfounded, he stared at her as she stepped away from him, pulling out her phone to light the way to the trail that would lead them back to the house. His mouth dried as he took in her shadowy form walk away from him, giving him a view of that ass that fit so perfectly in his large hands. 

 

“You coming?” she called over her shoulder.

 

“After you? Always, sweetheart.”

 

The two walked up the trail hand in hand, moving under the cover of the night as one entity. The lights from the kitchen blinded them for a moment as they entered the house. Both pairs of eyes blinked rapidly, adjusting to the sudden change of scenery. Han and Leia sat at the island, both eating slices of pepperoni pizza. Ben made sure to stand behind Rey, hiding the damp spot on his jeans from the scrutiny of his parents. That was a conversation he did not want to have.

 

Han shoved an entire pizza box to Rey, knowing that she would devour it with ease. Two six-packs of beer also sat on the counter, in easy reach for the small group of four. The two parents shared a look as she moved her chair closer to Ben, willingly sharing her pizza with him. A small smile grew on Leia’s face and Han’s eyes shone just a bit brighter.

 

“Did you kids have fun on the trail?” Han asked, watching for any tells that would give the two away. Rey stared resolutely at her food, nodding emphatically in answer as her cheeks were filled to the brim. Ben said nothing, but Han could see the tips of his ears turn red. 

 

So, it was like that. Interesting. 

 

“I know you guys were planning on spending the whole weekend out here, but there is something that I have to do at work, so your mom and I are gonna head out after dinner. I already told Chewie I’d meet him in the city tomorrow instead. You two are more than welcome to stay. Take a break, heaven knows you earned it, Rey.”

 

“Work? What’s going on with work?” Rey stared at him, daring him to continue his bluff. 

 

“Well, if you decide to take over the company for me, Chewie and I need to start the paperwork to turn it over to you and Ben. Leia’s been all over my case to lower my workload, and the sooner we get it started the better.”

 

The slice of pizza Rey was eating slipped from her hands, landing with a soft thud back into the box. “What?”

 

Han gave her that infuriating smirk that seemed to run in the Solo family. “You heard me, kid. The company is yours, if you want it. For you and Ben, in command where you belong. No sweat.”

 

Rey stared at Ben and he nodded at her encouragingly. “This is real? You aren’t shitting me?”

 

“You two are finally getting on the field. They’ve had quite the run, but Han always planned on leaving the company to family. I told him it was best to start getting you ready for it. The doctor has been on him to lighten his load, so it’s best he starts training you,” Leia interjected.

 

Rey blinked back tears, her throat thick with emotion. A warm hand wrapped around hers and she looked at the hand in wonder, briefly wondering if today was some sort of dream. A part of her knew that here she could be a new woman. A woman who was more than an orphan looking for a place. She held onto that thought when she fought her way to make it to where she was, and now, after all this time, it had finally came true. She rose up from where she was.

 

The world would never be the same.

 

“I was just like you when I was younger. Head full of fantasies of becoming somebody, leaving your past behind. So kid, what do you say?”

 

“Yes! Absolutely. A hundred times yes. I’ll rise above my station and organize your information ‘til we rise to the occasion of our new positions,” she laughed, nodding ecstatically, her slice of pizza forgotten. “We have to make this moment last. Scratch that. This is not a moment, it’s a movement. And later on, when people tell the story of the company, they will tell the story of tonight,” Rey beamed, reaching for a bottle of beer. Unscrewing the top, she raised it in cheers, taking a swig, not even noticing the others following suit.

 

“To Ben and Rey, the new faces of Millenium Falcon,” Han toasted. 

 

The quartet finished their meal with laughter and joy. Ben knew in his heart that all the turmoil that he went through in his life was worth it, because it brought him here. It brought him to her. And if he had to wait for it again and again, he would. 

 

Rey and Han were saying goodbye, talking about the next steps they would need to take in order to transfer ownership and start training to ensure the transition was as smooth as possible, when Leia pulled Ben aside.

 

“Ben, I know you may think I’m pushing it, but here,” she said, placing a velvet box in hand, careful to hide it from Rey’s sight. “It’s your grandmother’s engagement ring. She wanted you to have it.”

 

“Mom, come on. Rey and I just started…” he muttered, grasping the box tightly in his hand as if it was his only tether to the planet.

 

“You listen to me, Benjamin Solo. I have watched you two pine over each other for the past half a year. I have watched you two refuse to communicate. I have watched her almost marry someone else because you both were too stubborn. I’m not waiting another six months of you dancing around each other for you to confess your true feelings. Get it together and marry her. If there is one thing you listen to me about, listen to this. You two belong to each other.”

 

“I know.”

 

Leia’s mouth shut in shock. This was a first. He’d never known a person who had rendered Leia Organa-Solo speechless. 

 

“You know?” she clarified.

 

“I love her. Thanks for the ring, Mom. You two drive back safe.” Ben bent over, kissing his mother softly on her cheek. He placed the ring in his pocket, knowing it would be there waiting for him for when they were ready for the next step. 

 

“You know there was no meeting, right?” Rey asked, breaking the silence as they watched the taillights disappear into the darkness.

 

“Yep.”

 

“Your mom is diabolical. Han also said there were condoms in their restroom.”

 

Ben’s mouth dropped open in horror, turning slowly to face Rey. “He did  _ not  _ say that.”

 

“Have you met your father? He also said Leia may be ready for grandkids, but he isn’t ready, so to wrap it before you tap it.”

 

Ben placed his face in his hands, wanting to die from embarrassment. 

 

“At least you didn’t have to hear it from him. The good news is we don’t have to worry about condoms.”

 

“Oh,” his voice quiet. Of course they weren’t going to have sex. It was rude of him to even think that. He would never push for anything she wasn’t ready for.

 

“I mean, assuming you’re clean. You were the last person I was with, and I’m on birth control. I don’t want to assume you haven’t had anyone else.”

 

Ben’s hand snapped up. Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? “There hasn’t been anyone else, just you.”

 

The smile she gave him was worth his short abstinence. 

 

Strong arms lifted Rey in the air. She giggled as she wrapped her legs around him, nuzzling her face in his neck. “Is something in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” she teased.

 

“I think I’m ready for dessert,” he purred, adjusting her legs on him so she wouldn’t feel the engagement ring against her leg. He nipped at her shoulder before rushing her inside, kicking the door to the house shut. He carried her to the bedroom, the sounds of her laughter echoing throughout the empty house.

 

The second he closed the bedroom door behind her he placed her on the ground, tugging at her jeans, needing to get them off. Her nimble fingers began to unbutton the shirt she wore, but Ben stilled her hands with a stern gaze. “Leave it on. When I make you cum with my tongue, I want you wearing it. I want to see you squirm wearing nothing but my shirt.”

 

Rey nodded, her breathing already growing heavy. Her legs slipped out of her jeans and panties smoothly, his shirt grazing her thighs, covering everything he yearned to see. Ben slowly walked to her, reaching his hands out to grab her waist, pushing her backwards slowly, staring at her with a heated gaze. 

 

Staring at his beautiful woman sitting on his bed, wearing his shirt, fuck, he knew he was never coming out of this alive. Desire flooded his veins. His darkened pupils trailed her body up slowly, taking in every detail, scar, and freckle. When he reached the apex of her thighs, she spread her legs, giving him a view of just how she ready was for him.

 

He had no idea how anyone could ever say no to this. She was temptation incarnate, an altar that deserved to be worshipped. 

 

The situation was helpless and her body was saying yes. He just had to be sure.

 

“Do you want this?” he choked out, surprised by how deep his voice was.

 

“More than you know,” she breathed, slipping one of her hands underneath the shirt. The fabric rose a bit, showing her dark curls and slim stomach as she palmed her breast. Ben could feel his firm length pressing incessantly against his jeans. He already came once tonight. Right now it was all about her.

 

He walked forward, pressing a soft kiss against her lips, cupping her face in his hands as she softly grazed her cheeks with his thumbs. The gentle kiss was a promise full of love and want. They broke apart slowly, staring at one another with happiness.

 

“I love you,” he whispered.

 

“I love you, too,” she shyly replied.

 

Ben’s heart skipped a beat at hearing the confession. He kissed her more urgently, before kneeling at the ground before her. 

 

“You’re mine, and I am yours,” he promised, pressing soft and teasing kisses along her thighs. He could feel her quivering under his touch. He lifted her legs over her shoulders, and pressed his nose to her soaking center, inhaling her sweet scent. 

 

It was even better than he remembered. Rey shuddered under the contrast of his cool breath mingling with her warm slick. He licked his lips before delivering a broad and flat stripe with his tongue against every inch of her.

 

“Oh Ben,” she sighed, her fingers carding through his hair, instantly relaxing now that he was giving her what she wanted.

 

He continued to lick and suck along her inner lips like a man possessed, knowing without a doubt nothing would ever taste as good as this. She was nectar and ambrosia, food only reserved for gods and the most holy of people. Ben knew he would spend his entire life worshipping her, proving a devout follower to taste this heavenly source of life for the rest of his days. 

 

He lifted a hand and pressed insde her holy center. He hummed appreciatively as he felt her ankles lock behind his neck, digging into his shoulder blades. 

 

“You are  _ such  _ a good girl,” he whispered, pulling off of her, feeling her juices trail down his chin. His large digits trailed softly against her, and he was rewarded for his actions by the sounds of her soft whimpers. He looked up and saw her small hands clenching his shirt tightly, her chest rising heavily with each breath. “Do you want this?” he asked, the tips of his fingers pressing gently against her cunt. 

 

“Yes,” she rasped out.

 

“Yes, what? You didn’t say the right word. Only good girls get what they want,” he teased mercilessly.

 

“Ben, please,” she whined, writhing on the sheets as she begged to be filled.

 

He rewarded her by sliding two of his fingers inside of her, relishing in how her heated core stretched and tightened around him so perfectly. He set a slow and tantalizing rhythm, delighting in the sounds he elicited from her pink and pretty mouth. The second he felt her tighten around his fingers, signaling she was close, he placed his mouth over her swollen clit, sucking and moaning. Rey keened, loving the vibrations against her bundle of nerves. She felt her body tense and freeze, knowing in just a few more licks she was going to cum.

 

Knowing how close she was, Ben curved his fingers just so, rubbing against the spongy section inside of her. His action was blessed with the spasming of her core around his fingers. She was moaning and panting, squirming and quivering under his mouth, trying to get away from the over stimulation she was experiencing. He felt her toes curl against his back, and he pulled his mouth away, allowing his fingers to help her come down from her orgasm softly.

 

“I want this forever,” he sighed into her stomach, feeling her soft skin underneath his hands. He would never get enough of this. As he watched her sated and relaxed on his bedsheets, a sense of contentment washed over him. 

 

“Me too,” she murmured into his mattress.

 

He straightened out his plaid shirt on her body, and nimbly undid the buttons, starting from the bottom. With every button, he pressed kisses on her exposed tanned skin. The moment the valley between her small and perky breasts was bared to the room, he licked a stripe from her ribs to her collarbone, then settled his mouth on one of her taught nipples. He swirled his tongue around expertly, biting gently, before kissing across her skin to the other one. 

 

“You are so beautiful,” he accentuated each word with a kiss against her skin, landing at the curve of her neck. “And you’re all mine,” he whispered, grazing his teeth along her neck, nipping lightly underneath her jaw bone. 

 

“You are wearing too many clothes for what we are about to do.” He felt her back arch off the bed as she tried to unbutton his pants. 

 

“Patience, little one,” he smirked, grasping the collar off his shirt behind his neck and pulling it over his head. They both pulled his pants off, kissing each other in a lust-filled haze as he settled her against his bed again. With a swipe of his arms, the pillows fell on the floor, and he lowered his heavy frame against her lithe body. He grinded his hips against hers, his cock throbbing when it met her drenched folds. Her hand snaked between them, grabbing his length to align him with herself.

 

In a single thrust, Ben seated himself fully within her. They both moaned in unison, lost in the feeling of being one with each other. He had never felt anything like her before. Nothing would ever feel as amazing as the way her warm and wet cunt tightened around his cock, the way it seemed to conform around him as if she was made for him. 

 

_ This  _ was home, he thought as he pulled himself out and pushed back in.

 

_ This _ was heaven.

 

Her nails dug into his shoulder blades as she moaned in his ear. She was so close already. “Ben, don’t stop,” she pleaded.

 

“I don’t think I could,” he grunted, as he slammed back into her, feeling the pull in his abdomen as he neared his peak. “I love you, more than anything. You’re mine,” he vowed into her neck, placing one of his hands behind her neck to place a kiss on her swollen lips.

 

“I’m yours. I’ll never be anyone else’s. I belong to you,” she mumbled against his lips. “I’m so close, Ben. Touch me.”

 

His hand fell in between them, rubbing her in swift circles, knowing they were going to jump off the edge. 

 

“That’s right, baby. Cum for me. Show me who you belong to.”

 

With a strangled cry, Rey came undone, spasming around his cock, still grinding against him in pleasure. The world turned upside down as Ben followed a moment later, emptying his seed inside of her. Nothing had ever felt so right and perfect and life-changing as this moment. This moment in time where their feelings were out in the open, where they actually communicated about what they want. 

 

There was no way in hell he was going to leave this bed in the morning. He’d learned his lesson. 

 

Despite him softening inside of her, she held him tightly in her arms, humming in pleasure as his warm weight settled against her body. 

 

He kissed her shoulder then nuzzled into her neck. “That was satisfying,” he smirked into her skin.

 

Rey’s laugh shook his body, alighting his nerves with how joyous she sounded. “I’m definitely satisfied,” she agreed, running her fingers in his hair as they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	11. Epilogue - Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tugged at the tux constricting his large frame. He couldn’t do this. Was he supposed to feel this nervous? Nope, he had to get out of there. As soon as possible.
> 
> His father would help him. He’d smuggled plenty of stuff before. Smuggling his son out of this god forsaken venue should be an easy task.
> 
>  
> 
> This wasn’t they wanted. They wanted to elope, just the two of them with their small family. Leia refused to hear a single word of it the minute his grandmother’s ring was on Rey’s finger. He had no doubts about marrying her. None whatsoever. He did, however, doubt this monstrosity of a wedding. His mother was a damn diabolical woman who had no issue playing the only child card on them. Like the helpless idiots he and his fiance were, they had caved.
> 
>  
> 
> Ben rushed to the door, flinging it open with a force that shocked his Best Man, striding out of the room with a purpose.
> 
>  
> 
> “Woah there kiddo, where do you think you’re going?” Han asked, stopping Ben with an arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Wow, I cannot believe I am already posting the epilogue to this story. I know I said last chapter I will post a deleted scene kind of chapter, kind of explaining a certain friendship reuniting, and I still plan on that. It will probably take a couple of weeks though! I recently just finished my RFFA fic, and I have tons of ideas for new fics, so please stay tuned!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for yeeting, supporting, and just all in all loving me while I write this story. It's a bittersweet moment right now to post the epilogue, but I am happy with what I wrote, and I am excited to write new things for our amazing two space lovers. 
> 
> As always, I could not have done this without my amazing beta and friend. She enabled me to write this and left such amazing comments whenever she beta'd it. I am so lucky to have her. Check out her amazing fics, she does not disappoint – [RebelRebel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelRebel/pseuds/RebelRebel)
> 
> Thanks to my most amazing friend for, [Sage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagemcmae), for making my moodboard. I have been sitting on this one for a month or two just for this moment! I love you!

Ben tugged at the tux constricting his large frame. He couldn’t do this. Was he supposed to feel this nervous? Nope, he had to get out of there. As soon as possible.

 

His father would help him. He’d smuggled plenty of stuff before. Smuggling his son out of this god forsaken venue should be an easy task.

 

This wasn’t what they wanted. They wanted to elope, just the two of them with their small family. Leia refused to hear a single word of it the minute his grandmother’s ring was on Rey’s finger. He had no doubts about marrying her. None whatsoever. He did, however, doubt this monstrosity of a wedding. His mother was a damn diabolical woman who had no issue playing the only child card on them. Like the helpless idiots he and his fiance were, they had caved.

 

Ben rushed to the door, flinging it open with a force that shocked his Best Man, striding out of the room with a purpose.

 

“Woah there kiddo, where do you think you’re going?” Han asked, stopping Ben with an arm.

 

“I’m getting Rey and we are getting the hell out of here,” he growled. “Dad, help me. Smuggle us out of here. They won’t notice. Grab Lando and he can get a judge to meet us at the courthouse. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a courthouse. We can get married in front of the damn parking lot for all I care, but not this. Anything but this,” he begged.

 

“Take a breather, kid, you’re fine.”

 

Ben took a step back in shock. “You aren’t going to help me, are you? I’m being torn apart, and I need your help, and you are going to turn your back on your son,” he spat out, looking for another escape.

 

“I have to live with your mother. I value my life too much to die at her hands for helping you escape the wedding she has been planning since your senior prom. Now go back inside, and breathe. It’s gonna be alright.”

 

He shrugged off his father’s arm as he sulked back into the room he was being forced to wait in.

 

“Ben, don’t worry. As your Best Man, I have everything planned out,” Hux told him, handing him a shot of whiskey.

 

Ben swallowed it, ignoring the burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat. “And what, exactly, do you have planned?”

 

“Well, it’s not my plan exactly. It’s Rey’s,” he grinned. “Speaking of which, almost time for your first look. You ready?”

 

Ben looked up, for once not feeling so helpless as he thanked the universe for giving him this wonderful woman. “Hell yes.”

 

“Let’s go,” Hux grinned, motioning for him to follow him.

 

The two walked out of the venue to the private garden where Rey and Ben agreed to have their first look, demanding to have this one intimate moment alone.

 

Hux stood to the side, patting his pocket every few seconds as if to reassure to himself he wasn’t forgetting something very important.

 

Ben heard a door creak open and his breath hitched, already knowing Rey was going to be beautiful no matter what, having seen her in a wedding dress that seemed a lifetime ago.

 

“Did I miss it?” Poe’s voice rang out behind him.

 

Ben tightened his fists in annoyance. “What are you doing here?” he snapped.

 

“Hux didn’t tell you?” Poe asked.

 

“Nope. Rey wanted it to be a surprise,” Hux answered, patting his pocket again.

 

“Keep what a surprise? Poe, shouldn’t you be with Kaydel? She’s going to pop any second,” Ben interjected. He was the groom, damnit. Didn’t that hold some kind of power?

 

“She is only seven months along Ben. She is not going to pop,” Poe smiled lazily, shoving his hands in his pockets.

 

Ben was about to say something else before he heard another door open and the soft padding of footsteps. Ben immediately turned around, finding the wedding photographer in his eyesight, clicking away. His heart rate increased, knowing in just a moment, Rey would be behind him.

 

Soft fingertips landed on his shoulder, signaling her presence. Ben took a deep breath, turning around, and stared, stunned, at the vision before him.

 

Her hair was up in a soft updo, and the dress she wore was nothing he thought his mother would approve of, but it fit Rey’s personality perfectly. The form fitting dress showed off her gentle curves before cascading into a soft train. The shoulders seemed to be only held by small scraps of lace before dipping into a low v-cut. Upon closer inspection though, it was an illusion top, the glittery and sheer tulle sitting gently across her skin.

 

“Hi,” she said quietly, breaking him out of his trance.

 

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered, staring at her as if she was the only person in the garden. He was shocked to feel his throat tighten and his eyes well up with tears at the sight of this amazing woman before him. He was overwhelmed with emotions at knowing she was his. She had picked him over anyone else in the world.

 

“You look pretty good yourself,” she said, dabbing at her eyes with her own handkerchief. “So, you ready?”

 

“To marry you? Absolutely. To have this wedding my mother planned? Not on our life,” he answered honestly.

 

“That’s what I thought, which is why I came up with something else. Finn?” she turned around, giving Ben a look at the backside of the dress. The back of her dress had the same illusion as the front. It looked as though the back of her dress was held together by a small scrap of lace he could easily rip through with his teeth if he wanted. She knew what her back did to him, that little minx.

 

Ben was shaken out of his inner monologue by Finn approaching him with a stern look on his face. If he wasn’t close friends with his future brother-in-law he would be a bit worried.

 

“Be true,” Finn says to him, shaking his hand in a firm grip. He nodded once at Ben, turning to Rey and placing a kiss on her cheek. He stepped away from the two, sniffling a bit as he stood in front of them.

 

“We are gathered here today to witness the sacred and holy matrimony between Ben Solo and Rey Niima. Being an ordained minister thanks to the internet, I have the legal authority to conduct this marriage. First, are there any objections?” Finn asked the small crowd surrounding them.

 

“What is happening?” Ben interrupted, starting at the group of people before him.

 

‘We are getting married,” Rey smiled at him. “I know how much you hate the wedding your mom was planning for us, so I thought this would be good for you and me. The elopement we always wanted. Is that okay?”

 

“You really are perfect. I love you,” he stepped forward, kissing her gently, his heart filled with happiness.

 

“Guys, I’m not there yet,” Finn interrupted.

 

“Then get there,” Ben grumbled, pulling away.

 

Rey laughed, motioning for Finn to continue.

 

“As I was saying, we are gathered here today to join Ben Solo and Rey Niima as one. If there are no objections, would either of you like to recite your vows?”

 

Rey took Ben’s hands in her own, staring at him with love and adoration. “Growing up, I never thought I’d make it past twenty. My father left me. My mother died. Any last relation I had was dead or couldn’t be found, so I ran away here. I never once thought I would be lucky enough to have a family, or to find someone that would want to be with me forever, but here I am today, standing in front of you in a wedding dress. It may have taken us a while to get here, but if I had to do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat, because in the end, all my choices led me to you. I love you Ben Solo, and I always will. Thanks for keeping me satisfied.”

 

By the end of her short speech, tears were falling down her face, and Ben gently wiped them away with her finger. He had no idea what makeup artist his mother had picked, but she did a damn good job, because not one speck of her makeup came off.

 

“Rey, that was beautiful,” Finn said attempting to hide his own tears. “Ben, would you like to share a few words?”

 

“Rey, I don’t believe in regrets. I think we should let the past die and move on from it. That being said, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t want to go back in time and kick my own ass for leaving you behind that morning. You are a beautiful, smart, strong, and intimidating woman. I am so lucky to have you in my life. I am helpless around you. I look into your eyes and I know the sky's the limit for us. You’re it for me. You’ve always been it. I will spend every day of my life proving it. I am yours and you are mine. I love you, Rey,” he choked out, letting his tears fall freely.

 

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking around at the small group and was surprised to see everyone trying to keep their own tears at bay.

 

“I fucking love you guys so much,” Poe cried to himself, hugging onto Hux.

 

Finn wiped his own tears away and continued, “May I have the rings please?”

 

Hux strode forward, pulling the rings out of his pocket and handing them to Finn. “Be sure to give them back to me for the ceremony. Your mom will kill all of us if she ever finds out,” he said, stepping in line with Poe again.

 

“Ben,” Finn said, placing Rey’s ring in his hand, “do you take Rey to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish until your dying day?”

 

“I do,” he firmly answered, sliding her platinum band on her ring finger.

 

“And do you, Rey, take Ben to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish until your dying day?”

 

“I do,” she replied, sliding his thick metal band on his own finger.

 

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and my wife. May we never tell Leia Organa-Solo what transpired here. You may now kiss the bride,” Finn declared.

 

The now married couple smiled at one another. Ben wrapped his hands firmly around her neck, cupping her face as he leaned down to capture her lips with his. Clapping erupted around them, and they felt something soft tickling their faces. They looked up to see Hux and Poe throwing rose petals on them.

 

“To Mr. and Mrs. Solo,” Finn cheered, “may they always be satisfied!”

 

“We will be, won’t we, Mr. Solo?” Rey asked, grinning at her husband.

 

“Absolutely, Mrs. Solo.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think guys! 
> 
> Come say hi @[CommanderCrouton](https://commandercrouton.tumblr.com/)!


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